Debra: Frank, Robert's meeting didn't go very well.
Frank: What meeting?
Ray: With the FBI, Dad. Pay attention.
Robert: Hey, I'll take his cluelessness over her sabotage any day of the week.
Marie: My what?
Robert: You heard me. Your sabotage. You're a saboteur! Saboteur!

Debra: Now hold on. We are not gonna sit here and listen to you run down these good people. I don't think you've even considered that the problem just may be everyone else.
Katie: Well, l...
Debra: Frank and Marie Barone are fine, religious people. Oh, sure, they might be opinionated, but I find that refreshing. And Marie may have bruised some feelings, but it's important to remember that everything she does comes from love.
Scott: I understand that you're upset.
Debra: Please don't make us take them back!
Scott: I'm sorry.
Debra: Is it money? 'Cause we could pay more money.

Ray: What? You told people you don't know me?
Debra: Of course. You were acting like a goofball.
Ray: I don't care what I was doing. You denied knowing me at the potluck?
Debra: You were stuffing your pants with food.
Ray: I'm your husband. You're supposed to support me no matter what's in my pants.

Debra: You are such a pessimist.
Ray: I am not a pessimist.
Debra: Oh, no? You are incapable of seeing the good in anything. What is that called?
Ray: A realist. And I can see the good in a lot of things, okay? How about last year when we went skiing and I didn't break anything?
Debra: That's because you sat in the lodge the whole time, saying: "I don't wanna break anything."
Ray: I enjoyed it in my own way. I liked the hot chocolate. Although, I hear now that fake sweetener stuff will kill you. It's crazy.

Ray: These are the kind of parents that keep you in business.
Marie: We live right across the street.
Dr. Nora: Really?
Frank: How are you fixed for pie Ray?
Dr. Nora: I take it the boundaries are rather informal.
Ray: Oh, they're rather invisible, really.

Ray: But 40 years, it's a big milestone. Think of all the good times.
Frank: I had one good year.
Ray: There you go.
Frank: The year I left your mother.
Ray: What?
Marie: Frank! The children!
Frank: What's the big secret? We split up for a year. I came back, didn't l?
Ray: Wait. What are you talking about?
Marie: We almost got divorced.
Ray: What?
Frank: There's a sad word: "almost."

Marie: We didn't want to disturb you during dinner. But your motion-sensor light is not working properly.
Debra: It seems to be working just fine.
Marie: Now, yes, but something must be wrong with it because it didn't go on when Raymond came home.
Debra: No, Ray's not home yet. Did you get us that light so you would know when Ray gets home?
Marie: Also for your protection.
Debra: You know, instead of you looking for that light, we could just send white smoke up the chimney.
Marie: [chuckles] No, I wouldn't want to bother you. No, the light system works fine.