Manager: Hey, little man. Everything all right?
Chris: I lost my clothes.
Manager: What you mean you lost your clothes?
Chris: They were in two baskets. I was waiting for the machine, and I fell asleep.
Manager: What they look like?
Chris: Um, I don't know, there's lots of stuff... pants, underwear, socks.
Manager: Uh-huh. Is that them over there?
Chris: Yeah! Yeah, right, uh-huh.
Manager: Go ahead with your bad self.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] At the Laundromat, empty washing machines come around less than a Sade tour.
[After a machine is emptied, Chris and a middle-aged woman both dash for it with their laundry]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Terrell Owens ain't got nothin' on her.
Chris: I'm using this one.

Salesman: Hey, listen, you sign it now, I'm gonna give you a $700 limit.
Rochelle: Seven! Seven hundred dollars? Julius, do you know what I could do with $700?!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Unfortunately, he does.

Chris: Open the door!
Tonya: No!
Chris: Why can't you just do what I tell you sometimes?
Tonya: You said you hate me. I ain't doing nothing.
Chris: That's why I hate you! Every time I try to do something, you always mess it up. I'm always stuck with you! I don't feel like your brother, I feel like a 13-year-old father.
Man: Dag, man. You're a 13-year old-father, too?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I know he doesn't look 13, but having kids will do that to you.
Chris: She's not my daughter. She's my sister.

Beautiful Woman: See, whiter than they were when you brought them in.
Drew: Hey, thanks. You want me to teach you a kill move?
Beautiful Woman: No, that's okay. When you turn 18, you call me, okay?
Drew: Okay.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] There's something about knowing you have an ass whipping coming up that overshadows a brand new TV.
Rochelle: So what'd you want to tell me, Tonya?
Tonya: I, uh... I had fun at the Laundromat.
Rochelle: Oh, good. That's nice. Well, what about you, Chris? What did you have to say?
Chris: Uh... Can I still watch Rocky?
Rochelle: Sure.

Drew: How'd you get the money for a TV like this, Mama?
Rochelle: Your daddy got it on credit.
All: Credit?
Rochelle: Yeah.
Drew: Hey, Dad, since you got this on credit, you think you could get me some new nunchuks? You know, a kimono?
Julius: No, look, we're not getting no more on credit tills is paid off, okay?

Tonya: Daddy, can we watch Three's Company?
Chris: No!
Tonya: Yes!
Chris: I'm going to watch my basketball game! No Three's Company!
Julius: It's only a half hour.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Tonya sure was lucky she didn't tell, 'cause I was two seconds away from hitting her with the monkey claw.

Chris: I thought you were gonna tell on me.
Tonya: I was. But I decided not to. Do you hate me, for real?
Chris: No, I don't really hate you. It's just that you get on my nerves sometimes.
Tonya: I'm sorry. So, did you get your clothes clean?
Chris: Yeah.
Tonya: That's good. Just because I said "I'm sorry," doesn't mean I'm not gonna get you in trouble again.
Chris: And if I say "I hate you," you better not get mad.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Before I went to sleep that night, I had to watch my favorite movie, Rocky. It was the perfect way to end the day.
[Elsewhere, Rochelle unloads the laundry bag and finds Julius's overalls have shrunk]
Rochelle: Chris!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Almost perfect.