Adult Chris: I was so sleepy, instead of counting sheep I was counting sleep.

Greg: You gonna watch Rocky tomorrow?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My favorite movie of all time was Rocky. A Black man kicking a White guy's ass. My father always thought the movie should've been called Apollo.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because I had to catch the bus to go all the way across town to get to school every day, I got ten hours less sleep a week than anyone else in my class. One time, I fell asleep so long, I woke up with a mustache.

Rochelle: Get up. I need you to go to the Laundromat.
Chris: I don't want to go. I'm tired.
Rochelle: Me and your father are going to buy a new TV today. So I need you to do this! Come on, if you do this, I'll let you watch Rocky tonight. So, please, do not mix the colors and the whites. And those dryers get real hot, so I need you to set it to medium, so you won't shrink anything, okay?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I didn't hear a word after, "Get up."
Chris: I can't take all that by myself.
Rochelle: Drew and Tonya are going with you.
Chris: Do I have to take Tonya?
Rochelle: You need help, don't you?! Now, hurry up! 'Cause it's Saturday morning, and all the machines will be taken. I know you don't want to be there all day. Now, get up. Just everybody get up.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] There are three places a kid doesn't want to be on the weekend: at a funeral...
Woman: [sobs] Why?! Oh, why?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] ...at a woman's department store. And at a Laundromat on a Saturday morning. A laundromat is a place where really poor people go to wash their clothes.
Manager: You don't want that one, that's broke. Use the other, use that one.
Chris: Hey, I was gonna use this one.
Woman: You better get out of my face, little boy.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] At the Laundromat, even a nice woman would smack her mother twice for an empty machine.

Chris: Okay, y'all go check those machines and see what cycles they're on.
Tonya: I don't want to check it, you check it.
Chris: Well, then go sit down.
Tonya: I don't want to sit down.
Chris: Well, then stand up.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It took me years to realize that if you want a girl to do something, you got to tell her to do the opposite.

Rochelle: Here's your chicken.
Julius: And you better not bring me no dessert.
Rochelle: I'll get you what I want to get you!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Only one place that didn't work: the bedroom.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Instead of watching the machines like I told him, Drew was perfecting the Flying Monkey Death Claw.
Chris: [screams as he wakes up] Man, what are you doing?!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Damn, Black Yoda.

Chris: Tonya, how come you didn't wake me up when I told you to?
Tonya: You don't tell me what to do.
Chris: Where'd you get that?
Tonya: That machine.
Chris: You spent our quarters?
Tonya: I was thirsty.

Chris: What happened to our clothes?
Tonya: I don't know.
Chris: Drew, who took our clothes?
Drew: Wasn't me.
Chris: Somebody stole our clothes.
Tonya: It's not my fault.
Chris: Yes, it is! Instead of going to get a soda, how come you weren't watching the clothes?
Tonya: How come you weren't watching them?
Chris: 'Cause I was asleep, and that's why I told you to wake me up! You're always messing stuff up. I hate you!
Tonya: I don't care. [walks away]
Chris: Where are you going?
Tonya: None of your business, that's where I'm going.