Rochelle: Well?
Julius: It's done. [a note is slipped under the door] What the hell?
Rochelle: What does it say?
Julius: It's from Mr. Omar. It says, "Open the door." [opens the door]
Mr. Omar: Evening, Mr. Julius, Ms. Rochelle.

Julius: We can't do all this, and put up Mr. Omar too.
Rochelle: You should have thought about that before you took that note upstairs.
Julius: Well, we could do most of the work ourselves, and we could let him stay here, and we could cut down costs.
Rochelle: Stay here?
Julius: You got a better idea?
Rochelle: Yeah. Don't raise Mr. Omar's rent. Oh, yeah, that's right. You didn't like that idea.

Tonya: Can we watch something else? I'm bored.
Mr. Omar: Oh, why don't you play a game? Play cards.
Drew: Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's play blackjack.
Mr. Omar: What you know about blackjack?
Drew: All you have to do is get 21.
Mr. Omar: Well, you know what makes that game really good?
Drew: What?
Mr. Omar: Wagering.
Drew: Cool. You want to play?
Mr. Omar: Yeah.
Tonya: Can I deal?
Mr. Omar: Yeah. Oh, hell, yeah. [laughs]

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Before I was a student at Tattaglia, I had no idea what to expect from high school. I thought it might be dangerous. I thought it might be exciting. Damn, I could've lost an eye. The classes that I thought would be exciting were boring.
Topless Teacher: Does anyone know what these are?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Reason her husband cries?
Chris: Beaver tails?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And the boring classes were even worse.
Ms. Rivera: [talks slowly] This semester, we will explore the great books of literature from the 20th Century, and you will write reports on these books from the 20th Century. You will turn them into me, and I will read them, and I will grade them.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My English teacher was like a sleeping pill in a skirt.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After mere words failed to bore us to death, Ms. Rivera unleashed her next weapon: the boring assignment.
Ms. Rivera: The first book you're gonna write a report on is Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. It is the story of a man who feels invisible in modern society.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She's putting me to sleep, and I'm in the future.
Ms. Rivera: It's very exciting, and some people find it stimulating and inspiring.
Chris: How long do we have?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Until we finish the book, or until the book finishes us.

Greg: Through the work of those great authors, you can transport yourself back to a time when things were simpler.
Chris: I wish I could be transported to a time when I was actually awake.
Greg: So what are you gonna do?
Chris: I don't know, but I'm gonna find a way to bring excitement to The Invisible Man.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Why don't you find him an invisible woman?

Rochelle: "You will have to provide alternate accommodations until said apartment is brought up to code."
Julius: What does that mean?
Mr. Randall: That means you have to find him a new place to stay.
Rochelle: What?
Mr. Randall: Call me for an approval inspection after the work is done. And get your CO2 levels checked.
Mr. Omar: Get them checked.

Chris: Uh, Ms. Rivera. [Ms. Rivera coughs from the hookah] I need to talk to you.
Ms. Rivera: Chris. Whoo! I need to talk to you too.
Chris: I need my book report back. I need to change some things.
Ms. Rivera: A little late for that.
Chris: Wait, this says "I."
Ms. Rivera: That's because you didn't do the assignment that I gave you. You do realize that the movie The Invisible Man has absolutely nothing to do with the book Invisible Man.
Chris: Yeah, I know that now, but why didn't you fail me?
Ms. Rivera: Your take on the movie was insightful. You captured the fun and all the underlying allegorical parallels.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I did?
Chris: I did?
Ms. Rivera: We should go in the hallway.
Chris: Yeah, before I get a contact high.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back home, the inspector was making a list and checking it once. This was an inspection, not Christmas.
Mr. Randall: Everything's up to code.
Rochelle: So can you just sign off on this now?
Mr. Randall: Well, everything looks good except for one thing.
Julius & Rochelle: What?
Mr. Randall: This box, it's one of the pre-1950 fuse boxes still in service. City code requires that be replaced by a code circuit-breaker panel.
Julius: We can't afford that.
Mr. Randall: Well, until that fuse box is replaced, this apartment's uninhabitable.
Mr. Omar: You mean I can't move back into my place? I got widows to see.
Mr. Randall: Well, unless you wanted to die in an electrical fire, that box has got to go.
Mr. Omar: [sighs] So how long is this gonna take, man?
Julius: I'm sorry, but I don't have the money. There's nothing I can do. I guess you just have to stay with us until I get it.

Chris: Ms. Rivera, you left so fast, we didn't get a chance to talk about today. Isn't it great? They're gonna put our picture in the newspaper.
Ms. Rivera: I heard.
Chris: You don't seem happy about it.
Ms. Rivera: Well, I just... I don't feel so well.
Chris: Oh. Well, what's all this?
Ms. Rivera: Just cleaning out the classroom.
Chris: Oh. Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.
Ms. Rivera: Chris...
Chris: Yeah?
Ms. Rivera: "You still here? It's over. Go home. Go."
Chris: Ferris Bueller's Day Off.