Chris Quote #497

Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates the English Teacher

Greg: Through the work of those great authors, you can transport yourself back to a time when things were simpler.
Chris: I wish I could be transported to a time when I was actually awake.
Greg: So what are you gonna do?
Chris: I don't know, but I'm gonna find a way to bring excitement to The Invisible Man.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Why don't you find him an invisible woman?

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 ‘Everybody Hates the English Teacher’ Quotes

Quote from Drew

Drew: 21.
Mr. Omar: You hit on 17?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What Mr. Omar didn't know was that when it came to numbers, Drew was like my father.
[montage:]
Drew: Wow, that's 562,002 granules of sugar.
Drew: Wow, that's 357,000 raindrops.
Drew: Wow, that's one cupcake.

Quote from Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After watching The Invisible Man, I managed to do in a few hours what it was taking Greg a few days to do.
Greg: So how do you like the book so far?
Chris: Oh, it was great. I already turned in my report.
Greg: Already turned it in? I'm only, like, halfway through the book. I've never seen you crank out a book report this fast.
Chris: I didn't read the book. I watched the movie.
Greg: Wait, what movie?
Chris: The Invisible Man. You know, the guy drinks the serum, disappears.
Greg: Dude, the movie The Invisible Man has absolutely nothing to do with the book Invisible Man. I don't know what you wrote, but whatever it is, you better hope Ms. Rivera doesn't read it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Too bad I didn't write that paper in invisible ink.

Quote from Rochelle

Julius: Rochelle, it's not like you didn't have anything to do with it. Every time I turn around, you're quitting another job.
Rochelle: Since when?
Julius: Since whenever. I'm just saying, I hope you like being at the beauty salon, because if you find a job you really like, maybe I wouldn't have to keep two jobs.
Rochelle: Oh. Oh, oh, wait a minute. So you're saying that you think I use the fact that you have two jobs as a reason to quit a job?
Julius: I didn't say that.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But she did.
[flashbacks:]
Rochelle: I do not need this. My man has two jobs.
Rochelle: I don't need this, man! My man has two jobs!
Rochelle: I do not need this, okay? My man has two jobs.