Rochelle: Well, let's go.
Julius: Where are you going?
Rochelle: We're going to look for Chris and Drew. We just can't sit around here all day. You're looking at Playpen Magazine when our sons are missing?
Julius: It was in the... It was open. It just fell open. I...
Rochelle: Let's go! Come on!
Julius: Okay. Right.
Rochelle: Put it back!

Chris: Drew, give him the jersey.
Drew: I'm not giving them anything. Dad gave this to me.
Chris: Do you have any idea where we are?
Drew: Yeah, somewhere on Long Island?
Chris: Yeah, exactly. We're not just surrounded by two White people. We're surrounded by a whole borough of White people. So, this is us. And this is them. So, give him the jersey. [Drew sighs]
White Guy #1: Wait a minute. His jersey says "Gritzky." [both laugh] It's got the wrong number, too.
White Guy #2: Keep the jersey. Kid, look, if you're gonna like somebody, at least get it right.
White Guy #1: Get it right.
White Guy #2: Get it right.
Chris: Man, that was close.
Drew: I never thought I'd say this, but thank God for Risky.

Chris: Here it is. "Long Island Hotel, Home of The Great One." This has got to be where he's staying.
Drew: I hate to admit it, but that looks pretty good. When we get there, I'm going to have to buy you one of those sandwiches.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Might as well buy me a heart attack with a side of diabetes.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] We waited for Gretzky like he was giving out cheese.
Black Bodyguard: You guys are still here?
Drew: Yeah. We're waiting for Gretzky. You said he'd be back in a few hours.
Black Bodyguard: Look, he's not coming back, okay? He had a change of plans and went right to the airport. I'm just checking out.
Chris: That's it. I give up. Drew, I'm sorry, but let's just go home, man.
Black Bodyguard: Hey, wait. [hands Drew a jersey] At least his name is spelled right.
Drew: Oh, man! [chuckling] Thanks!
Black Bodyguard: Gretzky wore that last night.
Drew: You mean, he actually wore this?
Black Bodyguard: Mm-hmm.
Drew: Man, I'm never washing it.

Rochelle: Okay, listen up, you guys. We're going to break this search party up into groups of four. You, I want you to search Varick Street. Your group, I want you to go to Decatur Street. Your group, I want you to go to the bus stops. And you, I want you to search the alleys, okay? We're looking for two, teenaged, dark skin... White boys.

Rochelle: Chris? Drew?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] No, it's Puffy and Mace. [off Rochelle's look] Bye, y'all.

Chris: Do you even know where you're going?
Drew: Not really.
Chris: Got any money?
Drew: No.
Chris: What about school?
Drew: What about it?
Chris: Did you even think about Ma?
Drew: No.
Chris: She's gonna kill you when she finds out.
Drew: So?
Chris: That's if somebody else don't kill you first.
Drew: I don't care.
Chris: Drew, you can't do this.
Drew: See ya later.

Chris: Hi, um, we're looking for a guest of yours.
Clerk: Name?
Drew: Wayne Gretzky.
Clerk: Wayne Gretzky, the hockey player?
Chris: Yeah.
Clerk: He's not staying here.
Chris: Are you sure this is the right hotel?
Drew: Positive. At the end of Donahue, the announcer said, guests of the Donahue Show stay at the Long Island Wilmont Hotel.
Clerk: Not all guests. If your leg was bitten off by a shark, you have a terminal disease, or you're so fat you need a crane to be lifted out of your house, then you stay here. Athletes and celebrities stay somewhere else.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I was in a no-win situation. The only thing worse than going with Drew was letting him go by himself. Either way, if something happened, I was responsible.
Chris: Hold on, man. I'm coming with you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Can't blame me if we both die.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Riding on that bus, I had two goals: to get that autograph and get back home.
Chris: So what's the plan?
Drew: I don't have a plan.
Chris: Do you even know where Gretzky is?
Drew: The Long Island Wilmont Hotel.
Chris: And you think you can walk right up to the room and get an autograph?
Drew: I haven't thought that far ahead.
Chris: You haven't thought this far ahead. All right? We should just turn around right now. We'll be late for school, but, hopefully, we won't get in too much trouble.
[The bus stops and a few passengers get off]
Drew: Well, go on.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's the Whites-only exit.
Chris: Forget it.