Greg: You helped me get in. Can't you help him?
Ms. Morello: Chris, let's not forget you flunked math last year.
Chris: Yeah, but I passed everything this year.
Ms. Morello: Oh, that's right. Maybe I can have you apply under the minority curve.
Chris: What's that?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] J.Lo's butt.
Ms. Morello: It's an affirmative action plan.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The plan being "If we let one in, maybe they'll leave us alone."

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, I trained for the Bronx Academy like the Karate Kid trained for that evil blond kid.

Rochelle: Oh, baby, I know you had your heart set on this.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You mean you had your heart set on it.
Tonya: It's okay.
Rochelle: No, no, it's not. You know what, baby, don't worry. We're going to find you another boy to dance with.
Tonya: Ma, in Bed-Stuy?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's what I was going to say.
Rochelle: Come on, let's make some phone calls. Come on.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While my mother searched Brooklyn for a Baryshnikov, my Uncle Ryan found his inner Russell Simmons.
Ryan: Two, two fifty, three, three fifty, 400 dollars.
Julius: Ooh... I cannot believe this. $400 selling tapes. Man, I gotta tell you, I didn't think it was going to work.
Ryan: Have I ever lied to you?
Julius: No, I guess you haven't.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But lying and not knowing what the hell you're talking about are two different things.

Julius: Look, I gotta go. I got to get some rest before I go to work.
Ryan: Hey, I'm sorry, man, I didn't mean to cause any problems with Rochelle.
Julius: That's okay. Problem solved.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] There aren't many marriage problems Benjamin Franklin can't fix.

Mr. Perkins: This is pretty much a formality. I have a few questions.
Rochelle: Oh, no problem. We have nothing to hide.
Mr. Perkins: How long have you been addicted to heroin?
Rochelle: I'm sorry?
Mr. Perkins: Well, I understand you've struggled with drugs and alcohol most of your adult life.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He must have her confused with Lindsay Lohan.
Rochelle: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You must have me mistaken for somebody else. That's ridiculous.
Mr. Perkins: I can see it's a sore subject. Let me move on.

Rochelle: Chris has the desire to learn. He has a strong family who loves and supports him in a warm and stable environment.
Cop #1: Freeze!
Ryan: Don't shoot! Don't shoot! It was just tapes! Don't shoot! Don't shoot! It was just tapes.
Rochelle: What is the...? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Cop #1: They have a hostage!
Cop #2: Let me see your hands! Drop the pamphlet...
Rochelle: Hostage? I'm not dropping no...
Cop #2: ...and step away from the White guy.
Rochelle: Get your hands off of me!
Chris: I didn't do nothing.
Cop #1: All right, everybody, down on the floor, down on the floor.
Cop #2: You need to settle down and drop the pamphlet.
Rochelle: Get your hands off of me...! I said, get your hands off of me now!
Cop #1: I apologize, but it's protocol.
Mr. Perkins: How often does this kind of thing happen here?
Chris: Surprisingly, not that often.

Rochelle: That's right. Just get your butt out of here.
Chris: Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!
Rochelle: We don't need you or your stupid racist school.
Chris: Mom, no. No. Mom, I'm in.
Rochelle: You know what? This... What are you talking about you're in?
Mr. Perkins: Just fill out these application forms and attach a copy of your financial records. Once that clears, Chris will be the newest student at the Bronx Academy of Science.
Rochelle: [screams] My baby made it into school! [applause, cheering and whistling]
Mr. Perkins: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get drunk.

Drew: Look, I know you're all sad about Derrick and his ankle, but I think I can help you.
Tonya: Can you fix his ankle?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Actually, he could.
Drew: Actually, I could. But a compound fracture has to set somewhere between five and seven weeks, and he still wouldn't be ready in time for the dance.
Tonya: So how can you help me?
Drew: I could fill in for him.
Tonya: For real?
Drew: Yeah. I mean, I'm a pretty good dancer. If you show me what to do.
Tonya: You're not afraid someone will call you a sissy?
Drew: No. I don't care. Besides, I bet they won't say it to my face.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Like making fun of Mike Tyson's voice.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew got more women in a tutu then I got at 22.