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Everybody Hates Earth Day

‘Everybody Hates Earth Day’

Season 3, Episode 18 -  Aired April 20, 2008

Chris asks Julius to help him collect cans for an Earth Day project. After Tonya gets in trouble for yelling at a classmate, Rochelle agrees to tone down her shouting.

Quote from Doc

Doc: If you want to save the Earth, you better figure out what to do about them Russians. They got bombs. My whole family worked in the fields. I hate fields. I love concrete. You can't grow cotton on concrete.


Quote from Manny

Manny: I help the environment by driving as much as I can. You ever ride that train? That train is filthy, man. You know it's dirty as hell when rats got footies on. You want to save this planet? Get rid of them trains. Get rid of them trains.

Quote from Kill Moves

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Since my dad wouldn't help me, I had no choice but to collect a few cans on my own. Unfortunately, you could turn in cans for money, and every bum in Bed-Stuy knew it. They may be bums, but they're not lazy bums.
Kill Moves: [in a trash can] Hey, Chris.
Chris: What are you doing in there?
Kill Moves: Collecting cans. Turn in enough, get a lot of cash, plus, it's good for the environment. What are you doing, soldier?
Chris: I'm trying to collect cans, too. It's for my Earth Day project.
Kill Moves: Want to collect cans around here? You got to be quick.
Chris: Yeah, I guess so.
[After Chris and Kill Moves both see a man throw a can away, Chris runs across the street to the other trash can]
Kill Moves: [in the trash can] Got to be quicker than that.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And not mind sitting in garbage.

Quote from Julius

Julius: What are you doing, boy?
Drew: I have to build a car out of this piece of wood.
Julius: I want to know what you're doing with my potatoes.
Drew: That's how I'm going to power it. It's environmentally friendly.
Julius: You wasting my potatoes is butt-whipping friendly.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Wait till he finds out Drew is making the engine out of steak.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Her behavior? What about the other little girl's behavior? Why don't you have her mother come down here and tell her kid to shut up while my baby is trying to study?
Mrs. Wilson: That's neither here nor there.
Rochelle: Then please, where is it?
Mrs. Wilson: What I'd like to ask is do you know where Tonya got this language from?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My mother had two answers to that question. Answer A)
[fantasy: Rochelle is on Mrs. Wilson's desk:]
Rochelle: She got it from this knot I'm about to put upside your head.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And Answer B)
Rochelle: Well, I don't know, but it won't happen again. Have a nice day. Tonya, come on.
Tonya: I want to get transferred.
Rochelle: Girl, don't backtalk me right now. Now is not the time.

Quote from Julius

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Having my father help me with my Earth Day project seemed like a great idea until he found out about it.
Julius: Earth Day?
Drew: It's the day we try to save the Earth. I have a project to do, too.
Julius: Well, Earth Day must not be too important if I still got to go to work. Are the banks closed? You still got to feed the parking meters.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: So, Tonya, I know you heard me scream yesterday.
Tonya: Yeah, are you sorry?
Rochelle: No, I'm not sorry and I'll tell you why. You can only talk that way to someone when you love them. But you have to be nice to the people that you don't know.
Tonya: But that doesn't make any sense.
Rochelle: No, it doesn't make any sense, but it so happens to be true.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Like when Bush got reelected.
Tonya: How can it be true if it doesn't make any sense?
Rochelle: Because that's just the way the truth is.

Quote from Ms. Morello

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Every school year, there were always days when students had to do special assignments.
Ms. Morello: Good morning, everybody.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Some were easy, like Thanksgiving.
Ms. Morello: Your assignment is to write a report about what you're thankful for.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And Martin Luther King Day.
Ms. Morello: Your assignment is to report about what you would dream about if you were about to be shot.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Some were a lot harder.
Ms. Morello: This week is my favorite holiday: Earth Day. Or, as you would say, Chris, Earf Day.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If you live on Earth, isn't every day Earth Day?

Quote from Adult Chris

Chris: What's Earth Day?
Ms. Morello: Well, Chris, people are destroying the planet with things like plastic bags and cans, bottles, and indestructible foodstuffs. On Earth Day, we put forth our best efforts to save the planet.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I thought saving the planet was a waste of time, because I was too busy trying to save me. I tried saving my face. [Chris being punched] I tried saving my ass. [Chris being chased] I even tried saving my future kid's ass. [Chris putting a textbook in front of his crotch as Caruso goes to kick him] To this day, I love geography.

Quote from Greg

Ms. Morello: Your assignment is to do something you think will help save the Earth. [Greg raises his hand] Greg?
Greg: You mean something like building a solar-powered tanning bed?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Isn't that what the beach is?
Ms. Morello: That's very good, Greg.

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