Cliff: Hey, everybody. So, what's the latest?
Rebecca: Frasier passed out about 3:00.
Cliff: Aw! Poor guy.
Norm: Yeah. For someone whose wife is leaving him, he seems awfully upset.

Frasier: Thanks for the idea, Carla, but I hardly think the primitive approach would work on a woman as sophisticated as Lilith.
Sam: Well, then why don't you try the romantic route? You know, take her up to the Cape for a romantic weekend and treat her the way you used to.
Cliff: Oh, no, no, no. Come on, Sam, with that bush-wa. You know, if you want to keep a woman in your life, nothing beats the old-fashioned fake heart attack.
Frasier: I beg your pardon?
Cliff: She goes for the door, you go for your chest. I mean, nobody can walk out on somebody who's having a coronary. It's foolproof. I learned it from Ma.
Frasier: She uses that on you?
Cliff: Or I use it on her. It depends who's trying to leave.

Frasier: Then why are you here? To humiliate me again in public? Seems to be a theme you enjoy.
Lilith: No, I was worried about you. I brought you a shaving kit and some clean clothes.
Frasier: You were worried about me? Then you're not leaving me?
Lilith: Oh, I'm still leaving you. Frasier, this is so... I'm sorry. I think we should have this discussion in the office.
Woody: Oh, no chance of that, Dr. Sternin-Crane. Sam's office is his inner sanctum. The only person who gets to use Sam's office is Sam.
Sam: It's all right, Woody. It's all right.
Woody: Oh, well, maybe if Kelly ever has an affair, I'll get to use your precious office.

Norm: Poor Fras, huh?
Rebecca: What about Lilith? Huh? She's probably just trying to find herself.
Carla: Oh, come off it, Becs. Nobody tries to find themselves anymore. And, even when it was in style, it was just an excuse for middle-aged people to quit work, ride around on Harleys, and have sex with young people.
Rebecca: Oh, is that right, Miss Know-It-All? Well, it just so happens that my father once left for six months to find himself. And when he came back, he was at peace with the world. You could see it in his eyes the second he came roaring up the driveway.

Frasier: Well, then where are you going to live? All right, let me guess. Don't tell me! You're going to move in with your boyfriend, Dr. Pascal!
Lilith: That's right, Frasier, I am.
Frasier: What's so great about this Pascal guy anyway, huh? I mean, the man is obviously a crackpot. All he's noted for is inventing this ridiculous bubble underground.
Lilith: It's called an Eco-pod, Frasier. A self-contained subterranean environment which will serve as a prototype for an eventual space station. Similar to the Biosphere, only on a much more ambitious scale.
Frasier: To be inhabited by moles and gophers, no doubt.
Lilith: Yes, it will house a variety of animal species. And, for the first year, two human subjects as well.
Frasier: Oh, really? And where in the world do you expect to find... Oh, no!
Lilith: Yes, Frasier, I'm off to live in the Eco-pod.
Frasier: Oh, no!
Lilith: It's a noble experiment. I'm a pioneer. The research we are going to do is going to aid all of humanity.
Frasier: This is the stupidest day I've ever had.

Lilith: It's anything but stupid, Frasier. Dr. Pascal is a visionary. I'm proud to be associated with him as we chart the future.
Frasier: Oh, this will be a big hit on the cocktail party circuit. "Say, Fras, where's your lovely wife this evening?" "Well, Bob, she's underneath the Earth's crust with her boyfriend." "What's new with you?"

Lilith: I refuse to discuss this any further. You're being irrational.
Frasier: No, wait, Lilith, wait. Don't go, please. Look, I... I'm sorry. Please help me to understand why you're doing this.
Lilith: Well, Frasier ever since I was a little girl, I've led a very disciplined, regimented life. But in the back of my mind, I always had this nagging feeling that something was missing. I tried to fill the void with achievements scientific awards, marriage to a prominent man. But deep down inside, I still felt empty. Then along came Googie.
Frasier: Googie?
Lilith: Dr. Pascal. He's a free thinker. A radical. I never know what he's going to do next. And when I'm with him, I don't know what I'm going to do next. That's new for me, Frasier. I like it. I hope you understand.
Frasier: [sighs] I suppose I do. You know, maybe I haven't always listened. Maybe I haven't always known the right thing to say or do. Just one thing I want you to know. I wish you the very best. I adore you, and I always will.
Lilith: Thank you. [kisses Frasier on the cheek] Take good care of Frederick. And yourself. Good-bye, Frasier.
Frasier: Good-bye, my love. [gasping] Oh! [clutches chest] Oh, my God! [falls the ground] I'm having a heart attack! Well, maybe not.

Sam: Oh, hey, Fras. How you doing, huh? Come on, talk to us. We're your friends. Say something to him, will ya?
Rebecca: Like what?
Sam: I don't know, somethin' positive. Something to cheer him up.
Rebecca: Frasier, say, have you lost weight? What? That would cheer me up.

Tim: Anything good on?
Norm: Yeah, we got, uh, Oprah, we got, uh Quincy, Home Shopping Network, we got a guy on a ledge, we got Barnaby Jones...
Cliff: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Normie! Normie, go back, quick. Go back, go back, go back. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God! Hey, that's that Quincy where they buried the wrong guy!
Sam: Hey, Normie, go back to that guy-on-the-ledge stuff.
Woody: Hey, that's just right outside. No wonder all these people are in here.
Rebecca: I wonder who the poor sap is.
Police Officer: [on TV] Go back inside.
Frasier: [on TV] I swear to God I'm gonna jump!
Carla: Oh, my God!

Sam: Frasier?
Cliff: Hey, uh, I'll take it. I'm a friend of his. I think I can help. I've operated these before, sir. It's all right. [over bullhorn] Frasier, it's me. Your friend, Cliff Clavin. Now pitching for Boston...
Sam: Hey, come on, would ya?
Cliff: All right. Just kidding, just kidding. [over bullhorn] Uh, Fras look, buddy, uh, don't think I don't know how you feel. Uh, it's not like I haven't been there myself, you know, standing high above the city with the wind blowing through your hair, praying this time you'll have the guts to do it.
Sam: Give me that!