Cliff: So, Coach, how's Sammy been since I've been away?
Coach: Just about the same, Cliffie. Terrible.
Norm: Yeah, you should've seen him the other night, Cliffie. He walks in here with this lady librarian. She's off-duty, right? They both have a snootful. The lady librarian's got-
Sam: [enters with two dancers] Hey, gang!
Norm: Never mind. My story's obsolete.

Cliff: Hey, Sammy? I think you got one over the legal limit there.
Sam: Hey, Cliffie's back! How was your vacation?
Cliff: Oh, my vacation. You remembered, huh?
Sam: Atlantic City, right?
Cliff: Yeah, it was terrific. Thanks a lot.

Coach: Uh, what branch of the service are these young ladies in?
Sam: I stole them off the front of a parade last night, Coach. At this very moment there are 26 tuba players marching right into the river.

Cliff: What difference does it make how it started? The important thing is can we do anything to stop him? If we can't, can we join him? [female laughter emanates from Sam's office] If we can't join him, do you think he'd let me watch?

Carla: Poor Coach! After all you went through with Sam, seeing him right back where he was.
Coach: Really, Carla, it's eating me up. I'm telling you, I'm so desperate I feel like I'm going to do something crazy. As a matter of fact, I am going to do something crazy!
Cliff: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute, Coach. What are you going to do?
Coach: I know exactly what Sam needs. [puts on his coat and heads for the door]
Carla: Coach, your apron!
Coach: He's got an apron!

Diane: Please just put them down over there, Boggs.
Boggs: Thank you, Miss. Now I know why I became a chauffeur instead of a longshoreman. I would have been 72 on my next birthday.
Diane: I appreciate your bringing me home, Boggs.
Boggs: Well, your mother and I felt strongly that the first face one should encounter on leaving a place like that should be a friendly one.
Diane: Speaking of Mother, why didn't she ever visit me there?
Boggs: Well, she wanted to visit you, Miss Diane, but you know how uncomfortable she is around psychiatrists.
Diane: She could have written me a letter.
Boggs: And let them see her handwriting?
Diane: Boggs, that's insane.
Boggs: Well, as your mother would say, "Let's see them prove it in court." Which reminds me, I should be getting back to her right now.

Diane: Well, thanks again for driving me home, Boggs.
Boggs: It's my pleasure. I must say it's so nice to see you happy again.
Diane: [takes a deep breath] Boggs, I think I'm as happy as I've ever been. I have a new life. All these wonderful things have happened to me. I'm better now. [Diane squeals after there's a knock on the door]
Boggs: Miss?
Diane: I'm fine, Boggs. I was just a little startled. It's a perfectly normal reaction.
Boggs: Perfectly. [squeals when there's another knock]

Boggs: Perhaps I should be taking this opportunity to be going along.
Diane: Oh. Well, say hello to Mummy. Why don't you have her call me?
Boggs: You know how she feels about telephones.
Diane: Well, tell her to write. Or, I'll write. Or maybe we'll just run into each other sometime.
Boggs: Nothing would please her more. Goodbye.

Coach: How many pairs of socks do you figure a guy like that has?
Diane: I have no idea. Can I get you something? I don't know exactly what I've got. I've been away several months at a sana- vacation. At a vacation.
Coach: Oh, gee, you didn't happen to run into Cliffie, did you?
Diane: No. Did he have a nervous... vacation, too?
Coach: Oh, he's a wreck.

Diane: Don't, Sam! Please. I didn't come here to fight with you. I came here to help.
Sam: Well, I've never been happier in my entire life. What are you doing to do? Help me out all my happiness? You're the one person who could do it.
Diane: No, all I really want you to do is see a friend of mine. He's a man I met recently at a sana- vacation.
Carla: She's been locked up in a home facility in Connecticut for three months.
Diane: I was not locked up. I could come and go at will. And besides, it's not true. And how did you know about it?
Carla: I got a cousin who's a private dick. I wanted to find out if you were really gone. And you were really gone!