Rebecca: Oh, great.
Norm: No, no, it's really... It's not, uh not that bad. I paid big bucks to have Vera's hair frosted. Didn't turn out half as good. Well, maybe I better take off. When people are upset, they they like to be alone.
Rebecca: Nonsense. I'm fine.
Norm: Talking about me. I'm feeling a little queasy.
Rebecca: Oh, please stay. I mean, this office is a real inconvenience like this.
Norm: All right. [Rebecca sniffles] Would you, uh, would you like to talk about what just happened?
Rebecca: No.
Norm: Phew.

Norm: And, really, thanks for letting me paint an office that clearly didn't need it.
Rebecca: No problem. You're a nice man, Norm.
Norm: You're kind of nice yourself.
Rebecca: I guess we like each other.
Norm: Guess so.
Rebecca: Great. This will just be our little secret.
Norm: Oh, yeah.

Norm: Have a cup of coffee or something, Sam?
Rebecca: Make it a beer. On the house.
Carla: I say we check the office for pods from outer space.
Sam: I wonder what that's all about, huh?
Norm: Look, did it ever occur to any of you that she just might be a nice woman?
Carla: Oh, yeah, right. And so am l.

Norm: I'm not really at liberty to go into details. Suffice it to say, Miss Howe had a little personal crisis last night, okay? Few tears were shed.
Carla: Real tears? You sure she didn't just pull a hair out of her nose?
Norm: No, Carla. She got a little sad, and I happened to be there to comfort her. I think it really just takes a little warmth and compassion, and she warms right up to you.
Sam: Compassion, huh?
Rebecca: Mr. Malone.
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Rebecca: Do you realize we're running low on seltzer?
Sam: I'm so sorry. Ho- How can these things happen? Is there anything I can do?
Rebecca: Yes, let me know next time.
Sam: Well, of course I will. I just hope that's enough.
Rebecca: Are you feeling all right?
Sam: Yes, thank you very much. That's very sweet of you to ask.

Sam: Whoa, what was that all about?
Norm: Just a little bit of painting at her apartment.
Sam: [to Rebecca] Listen, uh, you know, I can really sympathize with your situation of painting. Uh, you know, if the fumes and everything bothers you, you can always spend the night at my place.
Rebecca: I don't think so. [closes the door]
Sam: That's it. I say she's a guy.

Sam: You know, I like to paint. Why don't I help you, man, you know. [Norm scoffs] Come on.
Norm: No. I know you. You just want to log a little sack time with her.
Sam: Come on, no. The truth is, I just I got to find out if there's a real human being in there, man. I- I can't keep working for a cold fish. Please, come on.
Norm: All right. But no funny stuff.
Sam: No, I swear to God. I won't touch her. I won't touch her. I make no guarantees about you. You've been driving me crazy in this little white outfit.
Norm: Yeah? You should see me in my caftan.

Rebecca: Oh, hi, Norm. Come on in.
Norm: Thank you.
Rebecca: I was just...
Sam: Hi.
Rebecca: Oh, God. Now it knows where I live.
Norm: Sorry, l, uh, needed a helper, and when I checked around, most of the fellas expected to be paid.
Rebecca: And you're doing this for nothing?
Sam: Well, it's an act of compassion. I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart.

Sam: Tragic, huh? Absolutely tragic.
Rebecca: I beg your pardon?
Sam: Oh, I just couldn't help thinking about Norm's basement.
Rebecca: Yes?
Sam: Well, it's not just, you know, the water filling up. You know, it's those photo albums, those old letters. Cherished mementos, you know, ru-ruined for [weepy] Oh, I'm sorry. Ooh, boy. Oh, this is embarrassing. l- l'm sorry. I just, uh... [sniffles] I can't help feeling this way ever since my dog, Lucky, died.
Rebecca: Something is going on here. I'm not exactly sure what it is. Could it be that you're jerking me around?
Sam: Okay, uh... [clears throat] I'm sorry. It's just that there's a rumor going around the bar that you've got this soft side, and I just thought I'd like to see it for myself. Maybe get to know you better. I guess I ought to just...
Rebecca: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I want to get this straight. You came over here on your day off to paint my living room in hopes of getting to know me better?
Sam: Pretty silly, huh?
Rebecca: What'd you want to know? [Sam goes to leave] Well? [Sam turns back]
Sam: Um, I'm thinking. I- I didn't think I was gonna get this far.

Rebecca: This whole thing about coming over here and painting is just another stupid attempt to get me into bed.
Sam: I- I am shocked and and deeply insulted.
Rebecca: God. I told you all that personal stuff about my brothers and my sister and me being the fattest girl in high school.
Sam: Wait a minute. You didn't tell me that.
Rebecca: Well, I wasn't. Get out.
Sam: Slow down here. Just li- I admit it. I'm attracted to you. Now, what's the big deal? Is that a crime or something? You know, are you always this defensive about people who find you sexy?
Rebecca: No, just you.
Sam: Is that right? Well you know, I'll tell you something, lady. There was a time when I was considering making love to you, but now it's out of the question. As a matter of fact, you know, I wouldn't make love to you if you asked me, if you begged me to make love to you, I wouldn't. Go ahead, just ask me. Just try it. See what happens.
Rebecca: Would you make love to me?
Sam: Well, okay, but just once. [Rebecca slams the door]