Lilith: Woody, you don't even like this man. He's been bothering you ever since he followed your girlfriend back from Paris. And now you're paying him to photograph you?
Woody: Well, he just borrows money from me anyway. This way I don't have to worry about him paying me back.
Lilith: It's good you worked that out, Woody.
Woody: Yeah, besides, this is the first formal picture I've had taken since my high school yearbook. I hated that one. Darned cowlick.
Sam: Oh, yeah, when your hair all stands up like that?
Woody: Uh-uh.

Henri: Oh. I could put roses in your cheeks. And then afterward, maybe I could photograph you. Why don't you come this way? Uh, what do you think you would like to be wearing? Uh... an evening gown? A black lace teddy? My strong male hands?
Lilith: I wasn't thinking of anything like that.
Carla: Oh, come on, Lil, loosen up. Let him snap you in some lingerie. Guys love dirty pictures of their babes. Hey, Nick always used to take them of me until one time I smashed his camera and broke his nose.
Norm: Oh, you got in a fight, huh?
Carla: No, fell off the monkey bars.

Lilith: Frasier, you're forgetting what a cheeky monkey I can be. It's a gag gift.
Carla: If you wanted us to gag, you should have taken a nudie.

Rebecca: Wow! Norm, that was sweet. You stood up for your wife.
Norm: Shh, shh, shh.
Rebecca: No, no, no, don't be embarrassed.
Norm: Everyone didn't see that, did they?
Cliff: We saw it.
Carla: I took a picture.
Rebecca: Norm, so what if they did?
Norm: You're right. Listen, I joke around a lot, but she's all I've got. I don't know what I'd do without her. I love her.
Rebecca: That's sweet. You know, she's, she's still up in the stairwell crying.
Norm: Oh, I know. She'll... She'll go away after a while. Yeah, there she goes. You gotta love her!

Woody: Sam. Sorry, they were out of beer nuts and pretzels at the store, but guess what I got? Choco Puffs.
Norm: Hey-hey.
Cliff: Hey, all right.
Norm: Haven't had these since I was a kid.
Cliff: Hey, look at this. Uh, "90% real sugar, ten percent animal fat." God bless America, huh? I always liked eating mine straight from the box.
Sam: They still have prizes in these things?
Woody: Boy, I hope so. I remember when I was a kid, I got one of those lick-and-stick tattoo books. Never wore them though.
Norm: Felt pretty silly, huh?
Woody: No, I'm just waiting for a special occasion.
Norm: Yep, I got a prize.
Sam: Me, too. Dumb BB game.
Norm: Yeah, I got one of those cheap plastic rings.
Woody: Oh, great, another tattoo book. [Cliff coughs]
Norm: Let's see what Cliffie got. [Cliff coughs] Hey, Cliffie got skunked. [laughs]
Cliff: [coughing, whistling] [coughing, whistling]
Woody: Oh, Mr. Clavin got the whistle.

John: Sam.
Sam: [mimics John] What?
John: My hatcheck girl is missing from her post. You haven't perchance seen her?
Sam: What's that supposed to mean? Every time something goes wrong in your restaurant it's my fault? Like I'm the one who's supposed to keep track of all your employees? You know, that really ticks me off.
Miss Kenderson: [comes out of Sam's office] Sam, I can't get the sofa bed to fold back up.
John: Miss Kenderson. For the three weeks you've been in my employ as a hatcheck girl, you've spent most of your time downstairs. Today, as luck would have it, we actually had a customer with a hat. And where were you?
Miss Kenderson: Taking a break.
John: It wasn't your break time.
Sam: It was mine.
John: Miss Kenderson, you're terminated. Get your things and clear out.
Miss Kenderson: Fine.
John: Sam, in the future, I'd appreciate you keeping your hands off my hatcheck girls.
Sam: You know, it's your own stupid fault. I mean, I wouldn't touch your hatcheck girls if you'd hire some waitresses.

Sam: So, you got some big plans, here?
Frasier: Oh, nothing much. I've never been one of those who tend to make a big brouhaha. As my mother always used to tell me, "Don't get excited. It's just another day of the year."
Sam: You're kidding me, you never had parties when you were a kid? Friends over? Cakes? Ice cream?
Frasier: No. Well, once I had a a bran muffin with a pat of oleo.

Cliff: Hey, Norm, did you hear? We're gonna have a big, uh, birthday bash there for Doc Fras.
Norm: Yeah, great.
Woody: Hey, it'll be exciting, Mr. Peterson. We're gonna have cake and ice cream.
Carla: Yeah, we can go crazy and order from Pizza-Pizza-Pizza-Pizza.
Woody: Oh, what do they serve there?
Carla: Pizza, you dweeb.
Woody: You don't have to bite my head off. I've never been there before.

Sam: It's too bad, man, about Vera losing her job.
Norm: Yeah. We have, like, no money coming in at all. If something doesn't happen soon, I may have to find a job.
Carla: You gonna work, Norm?
Norm: I mean for Vera. "You gonna work, Norm?"

Rebecca: So what do you need, Norm?
Norm: Well, it's Vera. She was, uh, laid off down at the travel agency.
Rebecca: Oh, so you want me to see if I can use my corporate connections to get her another job?
Norm: No.
Rebecca: You want me to help her out with some professional resume?
Norm: Well, no.
Rebecca: What do you want, Norm?
Norm: Well, you see, Vera ripped off a bunch of these frequent flyer vouchers. And I was wondering if I could trade them in for free beers. [Rebecca scoffs] What? What?