Sam: Boy, you know, too bad you and I didn't hit it off. I just got invited to Carl Yastrzemski's dinner with Robin Colcord.
Laura: Really?
Sam: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we'll be going over in Robin Colcord's stretch limo. Then, uh, Robin Colcord will be treating us to a $1,000 plate, which we will be eating sitting next to Robin Colcord. And then, you know, maybe we'll go out for ice cream later with Sam Malone.
Laura: Who's that?
Sam: A friend of Robin Colcord's. Come on. What do you say?

Rebecca: You know, that guy leaves me for 4 or 5 weeks at a time, then when I do have a date with him, he's an hour and a half late. What, like there's no phones? He can't give me call? I'm getting sick of this. I don't know why I put up with it.
Carla: Rebecca, don't you remember? You're a gold-digger.
Rebecca: Well, I'm tired of wasting my time and cleavage on him.

Robin: Sam, you coming?
Sam: Actually I think I'm gonna take a cab. My date fell through at the last minute, and I feel a little awkward. You know what they say, three in a limo...
Robin: Well, actually, there will be four of us. That's including my driver, Miles.
Sam: Great. I'll look like I'm dating the chauffeur. Listen, I mean, I like Miles and all...
Robin: Yes, well, he likes you, too, Sam.
Sam: Well, then I'm definitely taking a cab. I'll meet you there.
Robin: Sam, I need you to brief me in advance about this baseball thing. Now, look, I'll give you a consultation fee of $1,000.
Sam: What kind of flowers do you think Miles would like?

Sam: All right. Keystone sack.
Robin: Second base.
Sam: Hot corner.
Robin: Third base.
Sam: Dinger?
Robin: Home run.
Sam: Tater.
Robin: Home run.

Robin: Listen, he's good, isn't he?
Rebecca: Oh, yes, he's wonderful. We shouldn't go anywhere without him...Ever.
Robin: Do I detect an attitude?
Rebecca: An attitude?
Robin: Listen, when we meet Yastrzemski... We all just call him Yaz.
Rebecca: Actually, Robin, this is like my dream date. I hope we spend the rest of the night talking about how many taters Yaz has hit.
Robin: Rebecca, if there's something bothering you, we can discuss it later. So how many taters did Yaz hit?
Sam: Oh, uh...
Rebecca: Later? Later? You mean, like when we're alone? I don't think that's...
Robin: Anyway, Rebecca, if there's something bothering you, why don't you come straight out and say it.
Rebecca: Robin, if you can't figure it out, I'm really not gonna tell you.
Robin: Oh, God, that is so female.
Rebecca: Don't ever say that to a woman, you big jerk!
Robin: Little shrew.
Rebecca: Shut up.
Robin: Fine.

Sam: I don't know the exact number of taters Yaz hit. But I know it was a lot. Hey, you know what we need here? We need a little champagne. All right, I tell you, Robin, baseball... It's the greatest game. You know, the only problem I see is in the pension system. I mean, where's the security for a marginal player? Oh. Hey, this is very nice champagne. Yeah, nice and bubbly. Not like the kind of stuff we used to pour over Yaz's head after he hit a game-winning tater. Oh, my God.
Rebecca: Oh, Sam, you're still here.
Sam: I feel like I shouldn't be.
Robin: Ah, well, we'd appreciate that, Sam. Miles, would you stop the car?
Sam: W- What are you doing? Guys, come on. This is kind of a bad neighborhood.
Robin: Oh, no. There's no such thing as a bad neighborhood, Sam. It's just a pre-redevelopment.
Sam: Hey, is that car on fire over there? [Robin literally kicks Sam out the door] Oh! Hey, wait. Where's my coat? What about my 1,000 bucks?

Carla: How was dinner last night?
Sam: I didn't actually make it to the dinner. Rebecca and Robin started making out in the back of the limo, so I offered to do the gentlemanly thing.
Cliff: What's that?
Sam: Let them dump me out on the railroad tracks.
Carla: Oh, man, that Colcord is a real jerk.
Sam: Yeah, he just pulled over and let me out.
Carla: He stopped the car? So what are you whining about?

Sam: They take off with my wallet and my coat and I'm out there in my tux freezing my tail off. I tell you, I'd still be there is it weren't for those timely skinheads. [sneezes] Oh, God, I think I got something. Is my head hot?
Carla: No. What else you got?

Norm: So, uh, Sammy, do you think they did the, uh, deed?
Sam: Are you kidding me? Rebecca? I ended up with a pant full of slush, and I guarantee you I had a warmer evening than Colcord did.
Rebecca: [enters] Hello, everyone. It's such a beautiful day, I thought I'd walk to work. There you are, Sam. I told you you'd make it home fine. You're a clever boy.
Sam: Come here.
Rebecca: What?
Sam: Come here.
Rebecca: What are you looking at?
Sam: Oh, my God. You went to bed with him. [cheers]

Rebecca: Oh, I've got to tell you it was so wonderful. First, I thought it was sort of a low-down, dirty place. Then I realized it was a low-down, dirty place.
Norm: Yeah. Little Wally knows his clientele.
Carla: Yeah. So you greased up. Now, give us some details.
Rebecca: Oh, all right. What can I tell you? I told him the biggest secret of my life.
Carla: What?
Rebecca: I told him about "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" by The Righteous Brothers, and what that song does to me. You know what he did?
Carla: What?
Rebecca: He called this radio station he owns, and he had them play it all night.
Woody: I heard that. I thought that was the long version.
Rebecca: Anyway, all I know is it was the best evening of my entire life.