Cliff: Poor kid. Just when it looks like things are going to work out for her, like she's going to finally achieve her life's dream, her heart gets broken, and her whole life is shattered yet again.
Norm: Yup. You can just about set your watch by it.

Jim Montgomery: Mr. Malone. Glad I caught up with you. The board of directors is anxious to reward you for saving our corporation.
Cliff: Saving the corporation?
Sam: Uh, well, uh, thanks. Why don't you just send me a calendar or something?
Jim Montgomery: Oh, no, no. Sam, you're being much too modest. We know you've been trying to buy back this bar for some time now, and we've decided that as a token of our gratitude, the least we can do is sell it to you at a reduced price.
Sam: You're kidding. How much?
Jim Montgomery: $1.00. Take it or leave it.
Sam: This bar? I give you a dollar, and this bar is mine?
Jim Montgomery: That's right, Mr. Malone. No catch.
Sam: I can't believe this. This bar is mine. All I have to do is give you... Oh, shoot, shoot, shoot! [to the guys] Hey, give me a dollar, huh?

Sam: Hey, guys, guys. Remember this? Huh? [Sam hangs up a photo of himself as a baseball player]
Norm: All right.
Cliff: Yeah.
Sam: You've been gone too long, big guy.
Cliff: Somehow, everything feels all right with this world tonight.
Norm: Yep. It's only been a few hours, Cliffie, but the air smells fresher, the stool's a little more comfortable, and the beer tastes better.
Sam: OK, guys. Closing time. Beat it.
Norm: I don't know if I like the new owner, though.

Rebecca: I want to get out of here. I just took my stuff from your office and now I'm leaving.
Woody: Ms. Howe, you're leaving for good? I mean, I guess I should have realized that you would, but now that you actually are... I'm going to miss you. Don't those push pins belong to the bar?
Sam: Woody, Woody, it's all right, man.
Woody: Oh, now what... these index cards and these staples.
Sam: Woody, she's upset.
Woody: She's taking all our stuff, Sam. This is even our box.
Sam: Woody, shut up, will you?
Woody: Oh, this is my sweater!
Sam: Woody, shut up!
Sam: Come on!
Rebecca: You just take your own damn stuff. I don't want to be reminded of this stupid place anyway.
Woody: Oh, wait, Ms. Howe. This isn't my sweater. But if you don't want it...

Sam: Come here. Listen, I can't let you walk out like this. You got to forgive me. Please.
Rebecca: All right. I forgive you. I wish you well. Good-bye. I hope you're happy with your crummy bar and your stupid friends and your trampy waitress. [walks over to the bar] Good-bye, Carla. It was nice working with you. [shakes hands]
Carla: You, too. I'd just like to say that men have treated me like dirt all my life.
Rebecca: So?
Carla: I just like to say that. Keeps me humble.
Rebecca: Thank you.

Sam: Honey, you OK?
Rebecca: [sobs] Yeah. Uh... l'm... fine. May I have another glass of water? I'm starting to dehydrate again.

Sam: You're going to have to snap out of this, sweetheart.
Rebecca: Why? I don't have anything to live for.
Carla: Oh, come on. You got plenty to live for. What do you think? You're the only person who's ever been dumped? Look at Sam. He was in this horrible relationship with this woman for years, and it ended up she ditched him at the altar.
Rebecca: What did he do?
Carla: Well, he took all his money, he bought a boat, he sank it. Then he had to grovel around here for tips for 3 years. But look at him now. He got his bar back. And all he had to do was turn in your boyfriend. [Rebecca cries] Aw, forget it, man. There's no cheering her up.

Sam: What does this matter? Listen, this is Sammy talking to you. As long as I got a bar, you got a place to work.
Rebecca: No, I don't think I can go back to managing this bar.
Sam: Oh, I wouldn't want you to. No, I was thinking more of you being a waitress.
Rebecca: A waitress?
Sam: Yeah. Carla could train you.
Carla: [snickers]
Rebecca: [cries]
Sam: Boy, you're right. There's no cheering her up at all.

Man: What's the matter with that waitress? She keeps throwing drinks in people's faces.
Woody: Well, she's heartbroken. Her boyfriend left her, and she's feeling a little bitter.
[At the other end of the bar, Carla throws a drink in a male customer's face]
Carla: Here you go.
Man: And what's her problem?
Woody: She's just mean.

Rebecca: You can't help me. I'm beyond help. You can't help somebody who's done everything wrong since the day she was born.
Sam: Oh, stop it, will you?
Rebecca: What have I done right?
Sam: Well... You got excellent taste in clothes.
Rebecca: What, this old thing?
Sam: Well, yeah.
Rebecca: Everything else. I've been wrong about men, I've been wrong about my career. You know, if I'd just done everything the opposite of the way I did it, I probably would've had a very happy life.
Sam: What's that supposed to mean?
Rebecca: It means that I really loved Robin. And he ran off. And the man I've been pushing away all these years is right here caring for me... Giving me a shoulder to cry on. God. Life is so weird. Sam, kiss me. [kisses Sam]
Sam: I think this is wrong, honey.
Rebecca: I said wrong is what I do best. [kisses Sam]
Sam: I just... I just don't want us to do anything here that you're going to regret, that's all.
Rebecca: Fine, fine. Maybe you're right. [kisses Sam]