Sam: Listen, Kevin, about the, uh, these orphans, uh well, they're not coming. Uh, seems there was some kind of mix-up. You know, they had tickets to the, uh, circus or something like that. You know these orphans, they're always getting freebies.
Woody: Oh. I don't know, Sam, there's no circus in town.
Sam: Well, uh, may-- Oh, right. It was the, uh, monster truck rally. That was it.
Cliff: No, no, no, no, not tonight.
Sam: All right, guys, where do you think the orphans are?
Kevin McHale: Come on, Sam. There are no orphans, are there?
Sam: Well, in the world? God, Kevin, I wish that were true, man!

Sam: Aww, Kevin, Kevin, wait a minute. Let me talk to you here for a second. Listen, man, wait, wait, wait. We've got a $5,000 bet with Gary.
Kevin McHale: $5,000, huh?
Sam: Yeah. I- I can't afford to lose that kind of money.
Kevin McHale: Well, I do have a friend of mine who's on the board of directors at the Sunny Grove Orphanage.
Woody: I'll bet he knows where the orphans are tonight.

Sam: Uh, guys, what do you say here? I mean, we're in it to beat Gary, right? I mean, that's what it's all about, isn't it?
Cliff: I want my money back.
Sam: Listen, listen. If Kevin plays, then we're definitely gonna win, so it'll be Gary's $5,000 that we give to the orphans. But if he if he doesn't play, then we're definitely gonna lose, and it'll be our five grand that we're giving to Gary.
Norm: All right, I'm behind you.
Woody: I agree.
Cliff: I want my money back.
Sam: Okay, then, we're all agreed.
Woody: Here they are, God bless them. They're at the boat show.

Frasier: Well, say, what's the score?
Sam: Uh, 70 two.
Cliff: To what?
Sam: We have 70, they have two.
Cliff: All right.

Frasier: Well, say, don't you think maybe somebody ought to go in for McHale? I mean, he's the only one been playing the whole game.
Sam: What, are you nuts? What, we're ahead by, what, 70 points? I don't want to just beat this guy. I want to humiliate him. I want to hear that clown, Gary, scream for mercy. [man screaming] That wasn't Gary, was it?
Woody: Sorry, Mr. McHale. You know, sometimes you can just pop these babies right back into place. [McHale screams] Maybe not.

Carla: [on the phone] Gary, it's Carla. Yeah, the guys just wanted me to give you a call, tell you that you left something at the gym.
Sam: Your money!
Norm: Your pride!
Woody: Did you lose a blue gym bag?
Carla: Cheers rules! [cheering and whooping]

Sam: Oh, man, victory is so sweet. This is even better than the time we didn't lose so badly. You remember that?
Woody: Yeah, but the best part was Kevin getting up and walking off the court, knowing his foot was okay.
Sam: No, no, the best part was Gary's total defeat and humiliation.
Norm: Yeah. Yeah, that was the best part.
Sam: Yeah, did you see his face when we told him we were going to give his money to charity?
Cliff: Yeah, you know, uh, those moppets will be glad to get the money.
Sam: Yeah, a lot they did for it.

Sam: Anyway, uh that orphanage guy is coming over here in a little while to take the money back.
Frasier: You know, Sam, l, uh, don't know if I've told you, but tragically I lost both my parents when I was... Oh, in my early 30s. I could sure use that money. Say, Lilith, how about that? Would $5,000 buy anything?
Lilith: What?
Frasier: Nothing, dear. [to Sam] I'm getting nothing here.

Dr. Walter Froenmeyer: This hairline fracture runs the entire length of the metatarsal, which would indicate there was some sort of a jarring after the initial impact.
Woody: It was me! I fell on him and then I tried to pop it back into place. I'm sorry!
Sam: Woody, Woody... Excuse me just for a second. Woody, Woody, no, now come on. Don't blame yourself. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time, that's all.
Frasier: If anything led to this, it was Sam's pigheaded refusal to take McHale out of the game earlier.
Sam: What are you talking about? Woody's the clod who broke his foot.
Woody: Oh, God!

Sam: Oh, my God. People are gonna hate us.
Carla: Hate us? Man they'll kill us first, then they'll hate us.
Sam: Excuse me, Doctor, listen, there's no need for you to mention the bar's name, now, is there?
Dr. Walter Froenmeyer: Why shouldn't l?
Sam: Professional courtesy.
Dr. Walter Froenmeyer: I'm a doctor. You're a bartender.
Sam: We're both professionals.