Carla: Sam, wait a minute, let me do this. All right? Doc, how much would it take to put a hook in your mouth?
Dr. Walter Froenmeyer: $10,000.
Carla: Five.
Dr. Walter Froenmeyer: Deal. Now, she's a professional.
Sam: Hey, great work there, Carla.
Norm: Right. Dodged that bullet.
Woody: Way to go, Carla.
Cliff: I want my money back.

Kevin McHale: Hey, Sammy.
Sam: You're walking! Kevin, when did you get out of the hospital?
Kevin McHale: What are you talking about?
Sam: I'm talking about your foot.
Kevin McHale: Aw, it's fine. I iced it down for about a half hour after the game. Feels great.
Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second. Who- Whose X-ray is this, then, huh? Is that not yours?
Kevin McHale: I don't know. Let me take a look at it. It says "adult male gorilla." That's not me. Could be Laimbeer, huh?
Sam: Oh man, I can't believe this. Gary sends in a fake doctor to steal our money. Do you believe that? God! Even when we beat him, he wins.

Kevin McHale: Listen, Sam, why don't you come on around there and get a picture with Father and I and the $5,000 you're giving us. Come on.
Sam: You want to do this, uh right now?
Kevin McHale: Yeah. Come on over. Let's go.
Sam: Okay. I'll be right there. [to Woody] What are we gonna do?
Woody: All right, short people in front.
Sam: Look what you did! You made me smack you in front of a priest!

Sam: What are we doing? Man, we're pathetic! We've been trying to get Gary for eight years! We never win! We're pathetic. There's nobody more pathetic than us in the whole world.
Frasier: Oh, please, Lilith. [whines] Anything. A back rub. A handshake. Blow me a kiss.
All: [chant] We're not Frasier. We're not Frasier. We're not Frasier! We're not Frasier! We're not Frasier!