Eric: I'm ashamed. I am ashamed to call you my brother and Shawn.

Jack: Look, nail polish!
Eric: Ooh, do me! First me hands, then me feets.

Rachel: Do you think maybe we should leave?
Eric: No, no. I wanna see Topanga make Cory cry.

Cory: Mom and Dad let you buy that?
Eric: Yeah, they said it's my money and I can buy whatever I want. Except that Buns of Steel video.

Eric: Are they still estranged? ... Oh, it's in my word a day calendar. It's a good thing you asked me today, because if you asked me tomorrow I would have said are they still "estranged"? Hey ...

Eric: Feeny moved to Wyoming. I have closed that chapter in my life and I have opened up a new one. And you know what I call that chapter, Jack? Chapter Five.

Jack: Why didn't you just ask Rachel before I had the chance?
Eric: You know, it's hard to say. I don't have a lot of control over what goes on up here.

Eric: Oh, Mr. Feeny, great news. I don't have to sleep in your car any more.

Eric: Here's the plan as I see it. We give Morgan, who will be our decoy, some kind of poison that will make her ill. Dad will have take her to hospital and when he's in the emergency room, that's when the party begins.

Cory: Eric, you know, I'm thinking now you're raking in the big bucks, maybe you'd like to consider this exciting investment opportunity.
Eric: Call my broker. Shearson-leave-me-alone.