Ann: We're gonna use your idea and highlight being chaste.
[Ann sticks up a poster which reads "[V]oting [i]n [r]ighteous [G]eorge Michael [i]s [n]oble"]
Michael: I just meant you two shouldn't- You're not gonna put up this poster, are you?
Ann: It's really gonna appeal to the Christian crowd.

Lucille: What a coincidence. I just fired my housekeeper but I've already found a replacement. It's a robot.
Buster: I hate it. I miss Lupe.
Lucille: No. I won't let you go down that road. I want you to be strong, and you don't need the comfort of an immigrant in Mother's old stirrup pants to make you feel that way.
Buster: [Roomba beeps] Oh. Ohh, you're hungry.

Narrator: Michael brought Gob in to consult on his son's campaign.
Michael: Focus on the video and shy away from the virgin thing.
Gob: Oh, we should definitely sacrifice the whole virgin thing. And I got the perfect way. We hand out rubbers that say, "We salute George Michael."
Ann: We're not supposed to have help.
George Michael: And I don't wanna make Steve look bad.
Michael: Yeah, I just don't want my son to be embarrassed up there. Let's not play too dirty.
Gob: Uh, good point, two percent.
Michael: Two percent, huh? Is that how little I lost by?
Gob: Lost by? That's all you got.
Michael: Not really important.

Narrator: Meanwhile, downstairs, Maeby was meeting her new singing nanny.
Tobias: [high-pitched voice] Now, take your Fun-fun.
Maeby: This is my mom's, and it's fen-phen, and it's been banned by the F.D.A.
Tobias: Oh! Well. [sings] You should always read the label You should always read it well in the most delicious way-
Maeby: Mr. Fingerbottom?
Tobias: Mrs.
Maeby: Right. Mrs. I should really get going. I should really get going.
Tobias: No, no, no, no, no. Sit back. What's the rush? Please. Please. I wanna hear about you. Tell me about your family. I'm sure wherever your father is right now, she loves you very, very much.
Maeby: Not enough to be honest with me.

Gob: We need to pull the videotape.
George Michael: My tape?
Michael: Why?
Gob: I've made a huge mistake.
Narrator: But it was too late to do anything about it.
Gob: [on tape] Steve Holt is a bastard. He doesn't even know who his real father is. What else don't we know about Steve Holt? George Michael Bluth is a cool guy. His dad is a powerful executive working for this man. The girls like him just fine. Young and old. It doesn't matter. In the dark.
George Michael: That's why you had me do that?
Narrator: George Michael had never been more embarrassed. Until this part.
Gob: I couldn't find another tape. [laughter] I like Steve's more.

Michael: Guess I underestimated the religious vote. So Steve won?
George Michael: No. Steve dropped out of the race. He says he wants to spend some time trying to find his real father. Rav Nadir, the Indian kid, he got 97% of the vote.
Michael: Well, that leaves three percent. You did better than I did when I ran.
George Michael: I tied with Bart Simpson and "School Sucks."

Ann: George Michael, was that really you doing those lightsaber moves? You were incredible.
George Michael: I've only gotten better.
Michael: You're still doin' that?
Ann: So, you wanna grab a curtain rod and go over to my place?
George Michael: Wow. I'd love that. Thanks, Ann. You really make me feel good about myself. [they walk away]
Michael: Gotta do something about that kid's self-esteem.

Michael: Well, we had a deal, you know. I'd pay for everything, and you'd clean the house. And you've only done it once.
Narrator: She hadn't even done it that time but instead, intercepted her mother's housekeeper as she was arriving for work.

Michael: What happened?
Lindsay: I tried to give it one last chance.
[flashback:]
Lindsay: Like what you see?
Tobias: I've been looking for those. You're gonna stretch them out.
Lindsay: That's all you can say?
Tobias: Well, excuse me for liking the way they shape my junk.
Lindsay: I don't know why, but that's it. You can pack your junk and get out.
Tobias: You're kicking me out? At the beginning of pilot season?
Lindsay: You're not gonna make it as an actor, and we're not gonna make it as a couple.
Narrator: With nowhere to go, Tobias went to the studio where he'd occasionally worked as a security guard and took up residence in the apartment of Detective Frank Wrench, on the set of the television show Wrench.

Gob: What's this? A stuffy office meeting? Well, maybe it's time for a little Office Magic.
Ron Michaelson: What's "office magic"?
Gob: Sometimes it's as simple as turning 10:45 in the morning into lunchtime! [clock changes to 11:00]
Michael: Okay.
Ron Michaelson: Why does lunch have to be so dull?
Gob: Maybe you'd prefer some chicken instead! All right. Let's cut. Take five, everybody.