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The Immaculate Election

‘The Immaculate Election’

Season 2, Episode 14 -  Aired March 20, 2005

When George Michael's girlfriend Ann convinces him to him to run for student president, Michael gets behind the campaign in order to improve his son's self-esteem. Meanwhile, Lindsay and Tobias split up so he moves out of the family home.

Quote from Tobias

Narrator: Lindsay was about to find a replacement for Lupe as well.
Lucille: Who is it?
Tobias: [o.s.] [high-pitched voice; British accent] The new housekeeper. The agency sent me over.
Lucille: I'm sorry. I didn't call any-
Tobias: [enters] Oh, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Phyllidia Featherbottom and I can cook and I can clean and I can take care of the little ones. I can also, uh, sing a song or two, if it comes in handy. [sings] When you put a squirt of frosting down your throat Before we take our medications...
Narrator: Tobias had gained access to the studio's wardrobe and makeup department. He was eager to both see his daughter and prove to his wife that he had what it took to be an actor. It was the exact plot of the film Mrs. Doubtfire.
Tobias: In the most delicious way...
Narrator: There was also some Mary Poppins in there.
Lindsay: Let's get this house cleaned.

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Quote from Lindsay

Narrator: Michael was surprised to find the house still a mess a week after the fumigation.
Michael: You still haven't put this stuff back yet, huh? You've got to be the laziest person in the world.
Lindsay: If you weren't all the way on the other side of the room, I'd slap your face.

Quote from Gob

Michael: His self-esteem is low enough as it is, and I have no idea why. I mean, he's such a great kid, you know, and everybody loves him. He's George Michael! Truthfully, that's why I'm not that crazy about that Ann, but he'll move on.
Gob: Unless he knocks her up like you did with his mother. Plus, she's religious. If that one gets pregnant, it stays pregnant. Believe me. I dated a chick like that once in high school. No, I didn't.

Quote from Tobias

Michael: Lindsay, the place looks fantastic. What? Did you pay somebody to do this?
Tobias: [high-pitched voice; British accent] Oh, I've no need for payment. The love of the family is more than enough.
Lindsay: I'm sorry. This is Mrs. Featherbottom.
Tobias: From Blackstone. I'm charmed, I'm sure. Ooh! [prosthetic nose falls off] Back to work.
Lindsay: I think he misses his daughter.

Quote from George Sr.

Narrator: As it happens, George Sr. had come to in the attic, and perhaps it was the effect of losing his one friend...
George Sr.: Polly?
Narrator: or the lingering effects of the fumigation or perhaps it really was divine intervention, but he'd had a profound realization. Unfortunately, the timing of the enlightenment wasn't ideal for Michael.
Michael: That's why I need your help.
George Sr.: "Our Heavenly Father let his son die so that our sins could be absolved."
Michael: Great. So you're a Christian now.
George Sr.: "We must all seek forgiveness."
Michael: Well, I'll call the warden for you. You can ask him yourself.
George Sr.: Well, I think that's for fresh crimes. Besides, you've always tried to lead a clean life. You and Gob were like those biblical brothers, Gallant and, um- "Goofuth."

Quote from Buster

Lucille: Where the hell is my maid? Robot!
Narrator: But the robot was busy elsewhere.
Buster: What do you expect, Mother? I'm half machine! I'm a monster! [screams]

Quote from Lindsay

Michael: I'm really sorry to hear that. How's Maeby taking it?
Lindsay: Well, she's really hard to read.
Michael: You haven't told her yet.
Lindsay: Well, she was so excited the hot water in the shower was lasting longer. How could I have the heart to tell her it's because her father moved out?

Quote from Buster

Narrator: Michael went to take care of his son as Lucille discovered that hers was already being taken care of.
Buster: Mother!
Lucille: And yet you're too good to polish the candlesticks? You're fired!
Buster: You can't fire me. I'm your son. I'm firing you!
Lucille: I was firing Lupe!
Buster: Well, that makes more sense.

Quote from Gob

Narrator: Michael realized he had lived like Gallant and if he wanted to help his son's election he would have to find Goofuth.
Michael: Been lookin' all over for you, pal.
Gob: If you came to grovel for the job of president, you're too late. My brother already fired me.
Michael: Listen, I'm really sorry that I got upset with you you know, and I never meant to, um- I didn't even mean to fire you. You know, and I never meant to, um- I didn't even mean to fire you. You know? I just got so frustrated, and, Gob, you are my brother. Of course I'm gonna support you.
Gob: Well, now I feel bad for firing you.
Michael: Listen, George Michael is running for student body president and I have a feeling he's gonna get slaughtered. The guy he's running against is basically a young you.
Gob: Wow. It won't be easy to win a race against myself. Of course, if anyone can do it, I can.

Quote from Gob

Michael: Hey, is this guy with you?
Gob: Yeah, he's an actor.
Michael: Well, you know, I thought he was an investor. He voted against me which is the vote I asked you to be here for, so- You know what? I don't know why, but that's it.I don't think I can work with you anymore.
Gob: You kind of have to, guy. I'm the president.
Michael: No. I'm the president.
Gob: No. You lost the presidency, just like you did in high school when you refused to play dirty. Worked when I ran.
Michael: We're talkin' about the office here, okay? I do all the work. I've been helping you. That's over now.
Gob: Sorry to hear you say that, Michael, 'cause it just cost you your job.
Michael: I'm serious. It's over.
Gob: How do you call Security on this thing?
Michael: You hit pound-zero-zero to operate the system.
Gob: Pound is tic-tac-toe, right?

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