Narrator: George Sr. had used his considerable means to stage intricate scenarios to teach his children what he considered valuable life lessons.
George Sr.: I need help.
J. Walter Weatherman: I'll get my gear.
Narrator: Typically, these scenarios would involve a man named J. Walter Weatherman a one-time employee who lost his arm in a Bluth Company construction accident.
Young Gob: [hitting Buster] Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?
George Sr.: We're out of milk. I could have got it earlier if someone would have left a note. [tires screech] [kids scream] Why? If someone had left a note this- this innocent man would still have his arm. Why?!
J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you always leave a note.

Michael: Hey, what you doin'?
George Michael: Nothing.
Michael: No? [checks George Michael's book] So, listen, your, uh, your Uncle Gob seems to think that he saw you down at the docks today. Was that you?
George Michael: No, no. Maybe it was the other George Michael, the singer-songwriter.
Michael: Yeah, that makes sense.

Gob: Didn't Dad teach us that we don't yell in this family?
[flashback to the Bluth kids screaming on the boat:]
J. Walter Weatherman: Tell me before you hit the gas.
George Sr.: I can't hear you! The kids are yelling.
J. Walter Weatherman: Tell me before you hit the gas.
George Sr.: I guess you're saying, "Hit the gas."
J. Walter Weatherman: Don't! Wait! [screams as the boat sets off and his arm is ripped off] No! That's why you don't yell.

Michael: For God's sake, Dad, he's not dead. I need to do this soon, tonight. Down by the docks. I'm gonna make it like a drug deal went bad.
George Sr.: Tonight? No. It's Yontif. It's the first night of Yom Kippur.
Michael: Dad, that's just... That's one night, and it's back in September. That's okay. You've only been a Jew about two days.
George Sr.: Just try to talk to him.
Michael: Like you talked to me when I was growing up?
George Sr.: I thought you hated those lessons.
Michael: I did, but they worked. And they will work again.
George Sr.: Well, I'm done with them, because it was wrong, Michael.
Michael: Come on.
George Sr.: Your son is a timid, thoughtful boy. He's a scholar, like his grandfather. What time is it? Oh, almost sundown. I have to prepare for the Sabbath.
Michael: It's Tuesday.
George Sr.: Shh, shh, shh.

Narrator: Maeby was working with her grandmother.
Lucille: And this is from when your Pop-Pop yelled out, "Oh, Melanie" when he was making love to Gangie.
Maeby: This is so much fun. I can't believe my mom thought being here would be a punishment.
Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.

J. Walter Weatherman: Oh, my God! My arm!
Michael: Oh, my God! This guy's arm... just came off and landed on the dock.
Narrator: Michael realized that his father had, once again taught him an elaborate lesson.
J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you don't teach lessons to your son.

Michael: How could you do that to me?
George Sr.: I told you he's a good kid. You should try talking to him when you think he's in trouble. Don't make the same mistake I did, you know teaching lessons.
Michael: So you taught me a lesson not to teach lessons?
George Sr.: [sighs] It was my last lesson.

Maeby: C-minus. "C" M-l-N-E-S.
Lindsay: Did you even study?
Maeby: No, I didn't.
Lindsay: Wow. How impressive is that?

Michael: All I'm saying, Lindsay, is that you might want to push her a little bit because a kid without discipline can get into some pretty tough stuff.
Lindsay: So you think she's gonna suddenly turn to drugs 'cause she got a C-plus?
Michael: Minus.
Lindsay: And, yes, I think that, without boundaries, a kid can get into trouble.
Michael: Yeah, sometimes that could mean drugs.
Lindsay: Well, I think stress is what leads to trouble the kind you put on George Michael, even when he gets an "A."
Michael: Minus. And an "A" gets him ice cream. He knows that.

Michael: Well, those lessons worked, didn't they? We still leave notes to this day.
Lindsay: Oh, that's what that was about. I thought he was trying to get us off dairy.