Narrator: So Tobias chose to pursue a common interest with his daughter.
Sales Assistant: May I help you?
Tobias: I hope so. Um, I'm looking for something that says "Dad likes leather."
Sales Assistant: Something that says, "leather daddy"?
Tobias: Oh, is there such a thing?

George Sr.: [speaks Yiddish]
Buster: What?
George Sr.: "May you live. May you be well. I give you my blessing."
Buster: Wow! Really?
Lucille: Are you out of your mind?
George Sr.: Just follow the heart that God gave you, hmm?
Prison Guard: No touching. No-
[The prison guard backs away as he sees the serious look on George Sr.'s face]
George Sr.: [quietly to Buster] Can you get me some of that peanut brittle?

Marta: Actually, we had a big fight. He thought I was belittling his career, but I never would do that.
Michael: Neither would I. What career?
Marta: The magic?
Michael: Oh, the tricks. The little tricks. Those are great.

Marta: And I wanted to apologize.
Michael: Well, he hasn't been here.
Marta: But he said he was staying here. Oh, my God. Maybe he's staying with another woman.
Michael: No, no, no. No, no. He is staying here. I just haven't seen him here the foyer or the kitchen.

Tobias: There's my little girl. I've got great news. Daddy has the entire day off.
Maeby: But you have every day off. You don't have a job.
Tobias: Well, I don't need money to hang out with my daughter. Where are you going?
Maeby: We're going shopping.
Tobias: Oh, no, no. I can't do that.

Narrator: The next day, Michael was stopped on his way to work.
Rollo: Get in.
Michael: What?
Rollo: If you care about your brother, you'll get in this car.
Michael: Which brother?
Rollo: Gob.
[Michael rides off on his bicycle]
Rollo: Let me be clearer. Tell him Rollo wants him to say good-bye to his legs.

Michael: Listen, I just came here to tell you that this guy named Rollo pulled me over and made some threats.
Gob: What kind of threats?
Michael: He said to say good-bye to your legs. I don't know whether this guy's a mobster, a loan shark... something equally scary.
Gob: A magician.
Michael: I think you're confusing scary with silly. This guy was frightening. He was in a limo.

Michael: The top half there, what do you do about that?
Gob: I just get a volunteer from the crowd.
Michael: Oh, yeah?
Gob: The old top half quit when she found out I was sleeping with the legs. I guess word really gets around in there.
Michael: So Rollo wants your legs, but you're cheating on Marta with those legs.
Gob: Would you give me a break, please? The legs are insanely jealous.

Lindsay: He's having sex with a woman in his act?
Michael: I gotta tell Marta what's going on.
Lindsay: First of all, she'll hate you for it. It's called shoot the messenger. Secondly, it's not in your nature. I mean, you're like Mr. Morals. You can't even take a desk chair.
Michael: Damn it. l-I'm a saint, you know? I'm a living saint, and I get absolutely nothing out of it.
Lindsay: Well, you get a false feeling of superiority.
Michael: I know. That is nice, but this time, it's not enough. Why do I always have to be the one that has to set the good example for everyone?
George Michael: [enters in his leather biker outfit] Hey, guys.
Michael: Oh, that's why.

Maeby: Hey, Mom.
Lindsay: Hey, honey.
Maeby: Moo?
Lindsay: [doesn't look up] Mmm. Moo, honey.