TV Quotes

George Sr.: Oh, thank God you're here. I'm going crazy with the boredom, Michael. At least in prison, we had knife fights, and we had movie night. And once both. Those men did not enjoy Soapdish. I think you have to know that world.

Gob: That's right, Michael. Guess who just got fired.
Narrator: Gob was recently hired by the Bluth Company's rival Sitwell Enterprises. And although he started off well-
[flashbacks:]
Gob: Fifty-two percent of the country is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it Single City.
Narrator: His ideas failed to evolve.
Gob: It's like, "Hey, you wanna go down to the whirlpool?" "Yeah. I don't have a husband." I call it Swing City.
Stan Sitwell: Let's get into some new areas, if you don't mind.
Narrator: But Gob continued to fine-tune his first one.
Gob: How do we filter out the teases? We don't let them in. This goes for the guys too because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man, because you're livin' in [bleep] City.
Stan Sitwell: You're fired.

George Michael: Oh, no, it's my Dad. I'm supposed to be at work.
Maeby: You know, George Michael, you worry too much. It's Sunday. You're allowed to have a couple of hours off. You don't see me nervous about being on my third Virgin Mary.
George Michael: Why would you be nervous? There's no alcohol in a Virgin Mary.
Maeby: There isn't? This is unbelievable. Can I get a virgin pina colada when you get a chance? Now we'll get things started.

Maeby: Look. Here's my advice. Okay? You go to Rebel's, you take my bag of lacy ticklers, hoo-ha bras, dog toys, and sex knobs with you. And you act like you're expecting a booty call, as the old people think the young people say. All right? You tell her, "I'm just here for a quickie, and I'm out of here." Mr. Brash. And she'll drop you like a buttered cane.
George Michael: Is that something old people say?
Maeby: Yeah. I'm trying to get it going.
George Michael: That's cool.