James Carr: And then once you have it, that way, you'll have it.
Tobias: But do we need a gatehouse?
James Carr: I just put John Beard into a house with a double gatehouse. Now, that's John Beard, he's on television. No one's gonna look down on you just 'cause you have less than John Beard.
Tobias: Is this crazy?
Lindsay: I think so. We'll take the double gatehouse.
Tobias: Oh, is that what you thought?
Lindsay: Well, that way, we'll have it.
Tobias: We have it.
James Carr: And that way, you have it.
Narrator: There was a lot of this going on back then.
Tobias: This way, we have it.

Narrator: And soon, they were starting their new life in their new beautiful home.
Lindsay: Mother's Day eve was the most joyous day of the year. Maeby, you're gonna be late for school.
Narrator: And what they lost in coziness...
Lindsay: God, they grow up so slowly.
Narrator: they made up for in cavernous...
Lindsay: And the robot's dead again.
Narrator: ...unfurnished space.
Tobias: Uh, poor little guy. Ran out of juice before he could reach his...

Narrator: With her mother's trial coming up, Lindsay made an effort to work on her testimony.
Lindsay: "...when I was hungry, I..."
Lucille: Go on.
Lindsay: You don't want me to say this next part, do you?
Lucille: I think it tells the story.
Lindsay: But am I accidentally being funny, or am I purposely being funny?
Lucille: It's not supposed to be funny.
Lindsay: "Suckled at her champagne glass breasts" isn't a joke?
Lucille: Buster wrote it.
Lindsay: Recently?
Lucille: I adapted it from a letter he wrote from camp.

Lindsay: God. This is from Camp Kiss-A-Me-Mommy?
Lucille: Just read the copy. You're getting paid for this.
Lindsay: No. You know what? The money is not important to me. My shaman said...
Lucille: Oh, don't give me that mystical nonsense. You think you're better than I am, but you're a lot more like me than you think you are. Now, let's take it from, "I hope she gives me bubble baths forever." And I want to smell the suds.

Lindsay: But how am I supposed to say something like, "I love you, Mother," and sound believable?
Tobias: Look, Jesus- Jesus C. Penny! You know, I wish I had the luxury of not sounding believable. But that's not an option for an out-of-work actor, is it?
Lindsay: Or it's why you're out of work!
Tobias: Well, I beg one's pardon, but I have been dying to go to that Method Acting Clinic that I see on my nightly drives, but you won't let me!
Lindsay: Because you already wasted all that money on Carl Weathers' Master Acting Class.
Tobias: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm such a star [bleep] that I didn't pay attention to anything he said!
Lindsay: Oh, well, then, maybe I should go to your Method Acting Class to make my testimony more believable!
Tobias: That's actually a good idea. Maybe you could- [talk at normal levels] Oh! Hi. Yes. Well, perhaps we should go together.
Lindsay: Yeah. Might be good for us, as a couple.
Tobias: I do hope so. I really want to make this work.
Lindsay: Me, too. I really love you, Tobias.
Tobias: Oh, Lindsay, we have got to get you to that acting clinic.
Lindsay: And that was with me picturing fudge.

Narrator: To bond with her husband and prepare for her testimony, Lindsay had decided to attend an acting class with Tobias.
Lindsay: This is the first time I've actually done something like this with you. I think I always kind of looked down on it.
Tobias: You know, Lindsay, I think you'll find that some of what used to seem clueless about me is actually something I'm quite good at. This is where I belong.
Clinic Supervisor: If you're new here, you need to go to the window. Fill out this form first. And there's some personal questions on it, like how you first got hooked.
Tobias: Well, that's an easy one. You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown. No, Mame. No, ma'am... You're A Good Man... You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown.

Tobias: Oh, they're starting the monologues. Clean for three hours I think this is from Songs for My Father.
Lindsay: What did you say the name of this acting class was again?
Tobias: Method One Clinic.
Lindsay: Okay, I'm gonna go get coffee.
Tobias: "Garden Grove Methodone Clinic."

Lindsay: I love it here. My mother would hate this place.
Marky Bark: You know, Lindsay, I have to tell you, when I first met you, I thought you were one of those typical, uptight, snobby, Newport Beach, vapid... [shouts] Nut-busters! You know, one of those monsters that lives in a 10,000-square-foot house that they destroyed the wetlands for.
Lindsay: Those were wetlands? [sighs] That explains our Thanksgiving miracle.
[flashback:]
Maeby: What do you mean, you didn't make dinner?
Lindsay: I didn't realize it was Thursday, okay? There's got to be something here. [Lindsay opens a cupboard and finds a duck]
Tobias: Get it! Get it!
Lindsay: Chase it into the oven!
Tobias: Come on. Come on.
Lindsay: Here, little ducky.
Tobias: That's a good duck. Good duck. In you go! This is going to be the greatest Thanksgiving ever.
Lindsay: It's a miracle!

Lindsay: Well, I actually do live in a fairly large house right now. But we've never made a payment on it.
Marky Bark: So you're sticking it to big banking. That's cool.
Lindsay: Yes. In fact, I'm only in America because a shaman told me that love would come to me when I accepted who I am and didn't run away.
Marky Bark: Sounds like a good shaman.
Lindsay: Oh, he was the house shaman at the Four Seasons Mumbai, so you figure he's got to be pretty good. Oh, and he turned into an ostrich at the end, so... They're not going to have that at the Embassy Suites.

Narrator: But before she could disassociate herself from the Bluth name, the Bluth name would become...
John Beard: [on TV] as sullied as Newport Bay on the 5th of May.