Lucille: His name is Dustin Radler, and I haven't hired him, because technically, he's given up the rat race.
George Sr.: Oh, God, the "giving up the rat race" guy? This is the sand hobo? Uh, it's just a question. Are you guys doing something?
Lucille: [inhales]
Gob: Don't say it! Please, I can't I can't hear it.
Lucille: He tickles my fancy.
Gob: Your what? Is the- What part of Mom is the fancy? You do not want to know what I'm picturing, and it's not what you think.
Lucille: Oh, stop. We walk on the beach. We like the feel of the sand on our feet.
Gob: Oh, God, the thought of your feet.
George Sr.: It's fine. I'm glad you have someone to talk to. Well, maybe I'll go check on Buster.
Gob: Wow. Mom really has him fancy-whipped, huh?

Gob: [laughs] Did you catch this? Man, that's priceless. First, you eat it with Buster, then you step in it with the movie, and now you're eating what you stepped in, because Kitty hates you. Guess Michael's the geo-bead today.
Michael: Did you say "geo-bead"?
Gob: Yeah, it's one of Dad's expressions- You know, when somebody screws up, that Dad always said it. One of his "you'll figure it out someday" expressions. You're lucky, 'cause Kitty's sweet on me, so I'll go with you.
Michael: No, thank you. Nope.
Tobias: I could go. Or just- Would that be helpful if I did? Or am I just being a G-O-B?
Gob: [chuckles] Uh... [scoffs] G-O-B spells "Gob," you geo-bead, so why don't you s... ah. Well, today's the day.

Michael: [to Maeby] Ah, hey. Did that Murphybrown thing upset you?
George Michael: Oh, did that actress die? Oh, [bleeps] you, 2015.
Michael: Oh, no, this is different.

Michael: It never made sense, because, you know, he doesn't fit in with those people, and I think that George Michael and I are gonna be closer than ever. He's gonna need a father... still needs a father. The only mother figure he's ever had in his life was...
Gob: Oh, it was Mom.
Michael: Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Huh, poor kid.
Gob: I can't imagine.
Michael: Nor can I.
Gob: Wait, we had Mom.
Michael: You know, in a way, she was our mom.

Michael: Tobias's friend, his name is Murphybrown, and it's more than just his acting friend.
George Michael: It's his boyfriend.
Maeby: No, it's his son.
George Michael: His boyfriend's son. Oh, I'm sorry, Maeby. Are you jealous?
Maeby: No, of course not. I mean, the guy grew up not even knowing his father. If anything, I'm... jealous.
Michael: Hmm.
Maeby: Yeah, that that is a great word for it.

Narrator: While attempting to bail out his brother, Buster, Michael had accidentally bailed out the family attorney.
Michael: Barry, what's it gonna cost to get Buster out?
Barry: I don't know. What's he in for? Murder? Manslaughter?
Michael: No. No. There's no murder. He simply tampered with evidence when Lucille 2 went missing.
Barry: I would say over $50,000.
Michael: Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, I told you, I'm tapped out.
Barry: Couldn't you just embe-- borrow from your company?

Tobias: And John Beard actually said I was one of the more popular predators, so whatever gets your name and weight out there.

Maeby: Well, hey, what a surprise honey.
George Michael: So you're actually living with this guy now?
Maeby: Hey, my fake identity is none of your fake identity's business, okay?

Narrator: And George Sr. visited his prison alma mater for the first time since his son had been incarcerated.
Buster: This is where I ate a battery during my first week at recess.
George Sr.: No, no, "yard." Don't call it recess.
Buster: Well, it's a little too late for that, Dad. I've been trying to figure out prison on my own.

Rebel: Wait. What color's your hair gonna be? It's kind of like kissing your cousin.
George Michael: Ugh. Ew. Okay. Gross, okay. Got it.