Lucille: Well, if we can't use the company money to get Buster out, you better figure out a way to do it, Barry or I'll use my own lawyer.
George Sr.: What are you talking about, another lawyer?
Barry: I mean, you don't have the courtesy to wait until I'm disbarred?
George Sr.: Is this a divorce guy? Oh, this hurts.
Barry: Just give me a second, I'll be all right. I was gonna use your divorce to pay off my peekaboo lawyer.

Narrator: And as Tobias rushed off with his newfound son, George Michael and his cousin caught up.
Maeby: I can't believe this is the third "welcome home from prison" party we've thrown.
George Michael: [chuckling] Yeah.
Maeby: You know what we should do? Why don't we make out again and teach them a lesson?
George Michael: Well, I can't, 'cause my dad's here, and he thinks I'm still dating Rebel. And how would our making out teach them a lesson?
Maeby: T-Teach Rebel a lesson. I meant, teach Rebel.

Michael: But listen, you take your time. Don't rush trying to fit in with that crowd. They're probably looking for a yes-man or a suck-up. That's not your style.
George Michael: No. No, well, I had a great role model.
Michael: Aw, bless you. Yeah, I also had a... Well, bless you. Listen, if you do end up meeting that family, one good rule to follow is...
George Michael: Be myself.
Michael: do not bring Tobias. ... You be yourself, George Michael.
George Michael: George Maharis.
Michael: Yes, you be George Maharis, George Michael.

George Michael: Speaking of that, things have gotten worse. Not only does my dad think Fakeblock is real, and I've got money I won't share with him when he needs to bail out Buster, but he also thinks I should take things slower with Rebel.
Maeby: I don't know, but here's my idea about her. What do women really want? Their fathers' attention. And Ron Howard is a buttoned-down guy, right? What if he doesn't like you? What if you show up to the barbecue with pink hair?
George Michael: Pink hair?
Maeby: Yeah. I saw it on someone recently, and it made me want to puke. Trust me. You are gonna be like, "Burn!"
[later, as Maeby applies the dye:]
George Michael: [laughs] That's starting to tingle.
Maeby: Let me know when it starts to burn.
George Michael: It's gonna burn?
Maeby: Did I not make that clear?

Maeby: Nobody said getting out of a relationship would be painless.
George Michael: You should talk about getting out of a relationship. I think your friend Stan might be interested in you in a way that you don't want him to be interested.
Maeby: That would explain why he's offering to do my laundry. Well, whatever gets him to do my laundry, huh?
[chuckles] Yeah, no, I'll suss it out. This lie I'm living might be sending him mixed signals.

Rebel: Hey! There you are. Dad, this is George Maharis.
Ron Howard: Oh, neat to meet you.
Cheryl Howard: Neat to meet you.
Ron Howard: Rebel says neat things about you.
George Michael: What's up?
Narrator: Unfortunately, Maeby left the dye in too long, and it turned out to be...
Ron Howard: Look at that. Howard Red.
George Michael: No, it isn't. It... It's... [chuckles] Imagine if it was pink, though.
Ron Howard: Yeah, but it's not. It's Howard Red.

George Sr.: I got more respect then, with these animals, than I get with your with your mother now. I can't... I can't satisfy her.
Buster: Really? It's so easy.
George Sr.: No, I mean, we are no longer together. Your mother kicked me out.
Buster: Oh, there's an opening.
George Sr.: No, no, no. No, she doesn't want anything to do with either one of us. She has found someone new. She's found a younger man. Yeah.
Buster: Oh. Sort of a son with benefits. They said that I'd lose my old lady, and I said, "Not mother!"
George Sr.: Okay.
Buster: "She'll wait for me!"
George Sr.: Shh.
Buster: [sobbing] The thought of her singing to him goodnight. [both sobbing]
George Sr.: I can't take it. I can't take it.
Buster: I know. I know.
George Sr.: No touching.

Tobias: Keep an eye out for Lindsay. That is why we're here.
Murphybrown: Wait, is that her? Is that Lindsay?
Tobias: Oh, yes. Lindsay! It's us!
Murphybrown: It's us! Hi!
Tobias: Oh, no. That's a sickly cactus with a plastic bag on it.
Murphybrown: Oh, right. For a second, I was like, "Is that Lindsay?"
Tobias: I suppose it's true. The desert makes one see what one wants to see.
Murphybrown: Hmm. Yeah.
Tobias: Is that two barrel-chested, strapping men on horseback approaching us?

Rance Howard: Can I help you?
Michael: Yeah, that's a sweet setup there. I wanted to take a peek. Do you mind? I want to check out my son.
Rance Howard: Uh, that I understand. My name is Rance Howard, Ron's dad.
Michael: I thought you worked here. Hi.
Rance Howard: Well, I like to stay busy, keep an eye on my son, too.
Michael: Oh, yeah? You still have to do that?
Rance Howard: That's a father's job. Doesn't start at 9:00 and end at 5:00. It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Michael: Even as they get older, huh?
Rance Howard: It gets even harder, 'cause they think they know it all. You still have to be there for them when they make mistakes. Or sometimes they need to cry a little bit because sometimes a person needs to cry a little bit. Unless that person is a dad. For a father must bear his load lightly, and yet, beneath the mask, a watchful eye never wanders. For it is through this glance that a wisdom beyond words must be passed.
Michael: That is a very interesting take. Because I think a girl might be using my son, but I don't exactly have a way to keep an eye on her...
Ron Howard: Oh, I see you met my dad. He doesn't say much, but we're sure glad he's around. Although, hopefully he didn't share his thoughts about climate change, did he?
Rance Howard: Hoax!
Michael: He was great company.

George Sr.: What are you talking about? Lucille Austero is a majority shareholder. We're gonna be under scrutiny.
Barry: Well, doesn't George Michael have a company that he can em- borrow from?
George Michael: You need $15,000?
Michael: No. No, not at all. No, please, son, not from you. I'd never ask you for money. Come on. And it's 50,000 that I'm not asking you for, not 15, okay?