Ava: [over intercom] Paging Educator of the Year, Mr. Eddie. Your essence is needed at the award presentation, so bring that punim to the gym.

Barbara: Gerald and I are going to South Jazz Cafe to hear a little... [scatting].
Ava: No days off for me. I'm meeting up with some of my fellow doomsday preppers to assemble hurricane kits.
Melissa: Oh, yeah, what's in the kit?
Ava: Two types of rum and [Jamaican accent] an assortment of island flavors.

Ava: Nice work, kids. Keep track of that glitter, though. It is not biodegradable. Neither is any of that Styrofoam.

Barbara: I know you're right. But Janine has this trip coming up, and it's a big deal for her. And I just think her mother is here to get that money.
Melissa: Oh.
Ava: Damn, that's cold.
Barbara: Thank you, Ava.
Ava: [records] Note to self, new way to manipulate: step one, have a daughter. Step two, play the long game.

Girl: "The unbounded emptiness of space is incomprehensible to the human mind."
Ava: Hmm. I don't know why they're wasting time telling you about what isn't out there. You need to be worried about what is.
Girl: What are you saying?
Ava: There are at least 100 billion galaxies. Do you think that Earth is the only place hospitable to life in 100 billion galaxies?
Girl: Are you saying aliens are real?
Ava: Of course they're real. What I'm saying is, they might already be here.
Barbara: Ava, you're frightening the children.
Ava: I just want them to be prepared. More than 80% of the ocean has never been explored by humans. Aliens might already be here, drinking mai tais and using the Indian Ocean as a lazy river.

Barbara: This is my CPAP machine.
[aside to camera:]
Barbara: I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea, so I use a CPAP machine. I'm obviously very particular about how I present myself, so I tried to hide it.
[back:]
Barbara: I was wearing this. And because of Ava's antics, the kids thought that I was an alien.
Ava: So it was just a misunderstanding. [laughs] What a relief! And no one to blame, at that. Y'all go ahead, round up the kids so I can go to sleep. If I don't get a smooth 11 hours, I get a little handsy. [chuckles]