Harry: Oh, no, that sounds too dangerous. You can count me out.
Sally: Good. Stay here, Harry. Alone. All alone.
Harry: I don't care.
Tommy: On Halloween. Fright night. When the dead become living and the living become dead!
Harry: [voice quivers] I don't care.
Mrs. Dubcek: Hi, hi, hi. Trick or treat. Oh, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. Lovely costumes. Very nice.
Sally: Thanks, Dubie.
Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, Harry, you're an alien.
Harry: [screams] I am not! I mean... yes.

Nina: Oh, Dorothy. You look great.
Mary: Oh, I wanted to come as a flying monkey, but I shaved my legs, and the whole look fell apart.

Dick: Arrr, maties. Heave to whilst I hoist me jolly roger.
Mary: Dick, you're a pirate.
Dick: Oh, thanks a lot.
Mary: What?
Dick: You didn't have to tell everybody. Who are you supposed to be?
Mary: I'll give you a hint. "Dick, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
Dick: Of course. Nancy Kassebaum. Former Republican senator from Kansas.

Bug: [as Popeye] Care for some spinach, cap'n?
Dick: Oh, sure.
Bug: I don't really have any spinach.
Dick: Well, then why did you get my hopes up?

Dick: Oh, there she is. She's mingling with a skeleton. Arrr, look who thinks he's scary. Well, I be not a-feared of ye, you bag of bones. Now unhand me former wench.
Dr. Howard: [removes mask] Hello, Dick.
Dick: Dr. Howard? Shiver me timbers.
Dr. Howard: So, Dick. Where are your buccaneers?
Dick: Under my buccan-hat.

Dick: Oh, Harry. We're acting silly. How can we be sure we have a ghost?
Voice: [o.s.] [wailing]
Harry: I'm sold.
Dick: Why does this always happen to us?
Harry: No, in- in all fairness, Dick, this is our first ghost.
Dick: That's true. We've been very fortunate.
Harry: Yes, we have.

Sally: Oh, yeah. I've seen these before. Jumbo grade A, extra large, farm fresh. It doesn't have the street value of the organic brown, but it'll do.
Boy: You've got the wrong guy, lady. Can I make a phone call?
Sally: Shut up!
Tommy: Listen, kid, we can do this one of two ways. Either you can tell us what we want to know, or you can spend the rest of the night picking shell out of your teeth.
Sally: Who you workin' for, punk?
Boy: I don't know what you're talking about.
Tommy: Okay, let's start over.
Sally: No, I'm going to take this egg and grind it into his face.
Tommy: Lieutenant, you're out of line. Now go cool off.
Sally: Ok, I'm good. I'm cool.
Tommy: I apologize for my partner. She doesn't have much patience. Now, me, I want to help you. And I can talk her into going easy on you if you just tell me one thing. Who's the pope?!
Boy: I don't know the pope. Maybe I could have seen him at school or something.
Tommy: Well, that's too bad, kid. Now you've insulted me. I'm going for a walk. Sally? He's all yours. Kid, right now I wouldn't trade places with you for the world.
Sally: So how do you like your eggs?

Dick: Well, Harry, we haven't heard from the ghost in quite a while now, so I guess it's safe to say that it's vacated the premises.
Harry: I agree. [smoke spews from the vent] Oh, Dick?
Dick: Uh-huh?
Harry: Is that a ghost coming through the vent?
Voice: [o.s.] [wailing]
Dick: Yep.
Harry: Meet you in the living room?
Dick: Ok.
Voice: [o.s.] [wails]
Dick: Aah! Aah! Aah!
Harry: Who you gonna call, Dick?
Dick: Ghostbusters.
Harry: What, are you crazy? It's their busiest night of the year.

Dick: Okay, here's the deal. The ghost gets the basement, the apartment, and the rambler, and we keep the closet.
Harry: That seems fair. We can spruce up the place with some yellow slickers.
Dick: I don't know what's the matter with me. I want to be brave but I'm too afraid.
Harry: Dick, in order to be brave, you must first start by being afraid. For true courage lies in the overcoming of fear, not in its absence.
Dick: That's brilliant, Harry. Who said that?
Harry: Blue Power Ranger.

Harry: [sings] Casper, the friendly ghost The unfriendliest ghost I know
Dick: No, come on, Harry. Keep going.
Harry: Yeah, more like keep going to the bathroom.
Dick: Being scared is pointless. It's just biochemical fuzz in the lint trap of your mind.
Harry: Whoa! You've been bobbing for some funky apples, man.
Dick: Harry, I've let fear run my life long enough. I'm not going to live this way any longer.
Harry: Intelligent people don't believe in ghosts.
Dick: Uh, shut up.