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Scaredy Dick

‘Scaredy Dick’

Season 3, Episode 5 -  Aired October 29, 1997

Dick is afraid to have a routine medical check-up. Meanwhile, Sally and Tommy housesit for Mary, while Harry stays home alone on Halloween.

Quote from Dick

Mary: What's going on? Why did you leave the party like that?
Dick: Well, I didn't mean to worry you.
Mary: You didn't worry me. You took my car. Where are my keys?
Dick: Oh, I'm sorry about your car, Mary, but there are more important things to worry about. We have a ghost!
Mary: Oh, you're being silly. There's no such thing as ghosts.
Dick: Oh, no?
Harry: Oh, no?
Mary: Yes! If you want to be scared of something, be scared of what a coward you've become. [door slams]
Dick: And stay out! Now who's a coward?


Quote from Sally

Tommy: The grocery store had 4 dozen left. I bought 'em all.
Sally: [gasps] Free range.
Boy: All right. All right. I can't take it anymore. I'll tell you everything.
Sally: Who's the pope?
Boy: The pope is Wally Taylor. He lives at 215 West Division Street.
Sally: How do we know you're telling the truth?
Boy: [sobs] I got no reason to lie.
Tommy: Anybody who'd rat out his friends makes me sick. Get out of here.
[The boy walks away still tied to the chair]
Boy: Run, lady! They're crazy.

Quote from Sally

Mary: What did you do to the Bernstein boy?
Sally: We worked him over. He gave it up. The perp is wally Taylor. All right. Come on, Tommy. We're through here.
Mary: Uh, there are no eggs on the outside of my house. They're all in here. Thank you so much.
Tommy: Ah, don't thank us.
Sally: Just doing our job, ma'am. Aah! Duck!
Mary: What?
[As Sally and Tommy duck, Mary is hits by eggs]
Sally: Oh, my God!
Tommy: So it wasn't the pope.
Sally: It was Batman all along.

Quote from Dick

Dick: Harry? Harry, look at me. I'm not afraid anymore. It's great. I feel I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. Anything, Harry. Anything.
Harry: Wow, Dick! You've just defeated your own fears. What are you gonna do now?
Dick: I'm going for a routine checkup.

Quote from Dick

Dick: I really don't know what I was so scared about, Dr. Howard. The blood pressure test was a piece of cake. My urine sample was plentiful, to say the least. You know, it's amazing. Once you bring your fears out into the light, you see there's really nothing to be afraid of.
Dr. Howard: Good to hear it, Dick. [glove snaps]

Quote from Tommy

Dick: So, Tommy, what's with the mustache?
Tommy: Well, guys, I've made a little decision. The mustache stays.
Harry: Oh, that's muy macho.

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