Mary: Dick, I heard you ran out of Dr. Howard's office today.
Dick: That's not true. It's my word against his.
Nina: Ahem.
Dick: It's Nina's and my word against his.
Nina: Oh, give it up.
Dick: Oh, fine. I left your office. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But it wasn't out of fear, no. It was out of protest.
Judith: Oh, this should be good.
Dick: You doctors. Your A.M.A.s and your H.M.O.s. People treat you like gods. But you're just a bunch of mountebanks and charlatans, with your "vaccines" and your "penicillins." Oh, sure, people are healthier now than ever, but at what cost? Well, I'll have none of it. Good night, good doctor. Good night! [silence] [runs outs]

Nina: So you did take your physical?
Dick: I did nothing of the sort.
Nina: Everyone who works here has to take one.
Dick: Oh.
Nina: I've scheduled you with Dr. Howard for this afternoon.
Dick: Oh, well, Dr. Howard is in for a treat. I am a masterpiece, a perfect human being. Not a strand of DNA out of place. He'll probably want my organs to put on display.
Mary: Yeah, the sooner the better.
Dick: Oh, yeah.

Dick: You know what I've learned this Halloween? That you should always be brave enough to face your fears. Because when you do, it's only Mrs. Dubcek stuck behind a wall.
Tommy: Always?
Dick: Always.
Sally: Ok, so I know it was Dubcek who was screaming, but did you ever figure out who was rattling those chains?
Dick: Oh, yes. That's the ghost of Mr. Ferguson. Dubcek says he was brutally murdered fourteen years ago in our apartment this very night.