Harry: Okay, let's check in with the traffic with our good buddy Tommy G!
Tommy: Thank you very much. Well, uh... there's a truck out there, and now it's gone. Back to you, Harry.
Harry: Well, let's be careful out there, people.

Harry: Ooh, hey, we got an in-studio guest: Miss Nina Campbell.
Nina: Hey, you guys, I turned on the radio, and I couldn't believe it. This is so great. Yeah, I wanna send some shouts out to Steven and Bobby and Clarisse. Ooh, and Reggie and Shy Girl and Little B and-
Harry: No, this is my show.

Harry: Ooh, we've got a caller on line 1. Go ahead, caller.
Man: [on line] Yeah. I totally disagree with you on that whole leash law thing.
Harry: Oh well, that's too bad because you, my friend, are wrong.
Nina: You tell him, Harry!
Harry: Yeah. Next sound you hear will be the sound of me hangin' up on a dumb ass.

Mary: Well, I'm really glad you get to spend some time with my dad.
Sally: Oh, yeah.
Mary: But I must warn you. Sometimes he gets a little carried away, and he gets these ideas. All I'm asking is that you be gentle with him, Okay?
Sally: Okay. No more wrestling. [Mary laughs] No, I'm serious. I won't do it again.

Harry: Okay, Don. Thanks for coming down. We know how busy you are. We appreciate your time.
Don: Oh, it's my pleasure. In fact, I think I got an interesting story for you guys.
Tommy: In 4, 3, 2...
Harry: And we're back! Well, look who dropped by to say hello. Officer Don Orville. Or as he's known on the streets, Madge with a badge.
Don: I've got this story for you guys.
Harry: Yeah, so tell me, Officer Bacon Bits when you're working over a suspect, does that make you feel like a big man? [man screams on tape]
Don: Well, Harry, I try not to abuse my badge, which brings me to my story. It's about the time I-
Harry: Boring! [fart sound on tape]

Harry: So, Don, tell me, what do you think about old dudes dating young, hot babes? Is it smart or skanky?
Don: I don't know. I guess I'm down with that.
Harry: Mm, you're down with that?
Don: Yeah. I am. I'm down with that.
Harry: Yeah! He's down with that. Well, would you still be down with it if the young, hot babe was, oh, say, Sally and the old dude was Albright's dad?
Don: That I'm not down with.
Nina: So, Sally likes Mr. Albright, huh? That's messed up.

Harry: Oh, we've got a caller on line one. You're on the air with Harry Solomon.
Sally: [on line] Yeah, this is, um, Thelma from Ohio. It's none of your business what I do, and if you idiots keep talking about me, I'm gonna beat your faces in with a monkey wrench when you get home.
Harry: New topic. Michelle Pfeiffer's lips. Are they real?

Harry: [on the phone] Oh, yeah? Well, why don't you come down to the station and make me, ya big jerk?! [pow sound effect]
Nina: Harry, she was 8 years old.
Tommy: She just wanted to know if it was gonna rain. [thunderclap sound effect]
Harry: You just stifle it, little man.

Mary: Look at him dancing, gushing all over her. Dancing? Making a fool of himself. Dancing.
Dick: Is this mayonnaise or horseradish?
Mary: Of course I know what it is with Sally. She's just trying to replace the father she lost.
Dick: Oh! Oh! Whatever it is, it's hot.
Mary: And don't tell me I'm jealous, because I'm not!
Dick: Oh, my mouth is on fire.
Mary: That's my daddy.
Dick: That's my napkin.

Mary: Daddy, you want to dance with me?
George Albright: Well, sure kitten.
Dick: I'll dance with you, Sally.
Sally: He called her kitten! I'm kitten!
Dick: Well, can't you be pumpkin?
Sally: I don't want to be pumpkin! We're gonna have to get some things straighten out if she's gonna be my mother-in-law.
Dick: But aren't you gonna be her stepmother?
Sally: Whatever.