Mary: Look at those two.
Dick: Who?
Mary: Woody and Soon-yi over there.

Mary: Look, I'm sorry for the way I acted the other night. Maybe we should all talk this out.
George Albright: No. There's nothing to talk about. Martha and I- I'm going back to mother.
Mary: Really?!
Sally: Yeah, he is. And I'm sorry if this caused any friction in your relationship. But, Mary, I just want you to know something. I could've had him. [exits]
George Albright: She ain't lying.

Mary: Nina, I still don't get it. Which one is Baby Spice?
Nina: Oh, she's the one that goes like this. [sucks thumb and slaps her own behind]
Mary: I thought that was Scary Spice.
Nina: No. Scary Spice, she's all, [growls].

Mary: What a nice surprise.
George Albright: Well, not really. I've left your mother.
Mary: Again?
Nina: Oh, I'm so sorry. Let me give you two some time alone.
Mary: Oh, that's not necessary. They do this every year.
Nina: I know. I just can't bear to hear it again. Buh-bye.

Mary: So how long is this fight going to last?
George Albright: Oh, this was a bad one, Mary. I broke her Sound of Music box.
Mary: Oh, no!
George Albright: Yep. 45 years down the toilet. Your mother and I are through! You still got that hide-a-bed in the living room?
Mary: Yes.
George Albright: And you don't mind sleeping on it?
Mary: Not really.

Dick: Good morning, Mary.
Mary: Oh, good morning, Dick.
George Albright: Good morning, Dick.
Dick: Good morning, George. [screams]
Mary: What?
Dick: If he's here, that means the other one's here, too, and... and she scares me.
Mary: No, Dick. Daddy's here alone. [whispers] He left Mother.
Dick: Oh... finally.

Dick: So tell me about Normandy again, George.
George Albright: Oh, you just can't hear enough about the big one, can ya?
Sally: No. I love war. Oh, I mean, I hate war, but I love hearing about the killing.
George Albright: You know, I once killed a Nazi with my bare hands.
Mary: Oh, please!
Sally: So, how did it happen?
George Albright: Well, I was asleep in this burned-out church in the French countryside.
Mary: And he tripped, and you choked him, and I think it's getting late.

Mary: Dick!
Dick: [wakes up] Huh? Oh. Oh, Mary. Oh, thank god you're here. I had a terrible dream. Your father was there and- and he was telling all these boring war stories. I couldn't keep my eyes open. Hello, George. Chop-chop, everyone. Time to go.

Harry: Hey, Tommy, do you like egg salad? 'Cause I like egg salad.
Tommy: Harry, if you eat Dick's lunch before we find him, then we have no reason to find Dick.
Harry: That's a load off.

George Albright: You know, muffin, if I didn't know better, I'd say that little gal really likes me.
Mary: Well, of course she does. You're wonderful.
George Albright: No. I mean she really likes me.
Mary: Oh, please.
George Albright: She didn't want to leave the air museum.
Mary: Well, obviously, she has some perverse interest in old war relics.