Dick: How's it coming, Harry?
Harry: Well, I had a little trouble. We were trying to put the support rod from the uben into the flord slot, but that crisis is past.

Dick: Ah. Look at us. We're doing great. Everything's coming together. Oh, I'm reading a great John Grisham novel. It's about a young southern lawyer who fights an evil corporate giant.
Sally: Hey, my Grisham's about that, too.
Harry: So is my Grisham! [they all swap books]

Tommy: Hey, guys.
Sally: Who are you?
Tommy: It's me Tommy.
Dick: Well, you can't be Tommy. Tommy looks like a girl.
Tommy: Oh. No. I went to the Megacuts.
Dick: Well, if you're Tommy, answer me this: are we, or are we not aliens?
Tommy: Yeah, Dick, we are.
All: Tommy!
Tommy: Ah, there's my Grisham.

Mary: What's going on?
Dick: Oh, I'm just getting rid of some of these kooky knickknacks. What could I have been thinking?
Mary: Oh, I don't know. I think it's kind of nice having personal touches around the office. I was thinking about getting one of those big ficuses.
Dick: Whoa, hold on there, Courtney Love. The circus is a fun place to visit, but you don't want to live there.
Nina: Well, can I have your Mr. Potato head?
Dick: Sure. Go ahead. [chuckles] Weirdo.

All: Jenga!
Dick: That was good fun. Say, who wants to do something completely crazy
Harry: Me too.
Tommy: I'm game!
Dick: Mary?
Mary: God, yes.
Dick: Let's go get some frozen yogurt! Come on, Mary. You won't believe it's fat-free.

Dick: Well, why aren't you working in the office?
Mary: Uh I- I thought I'd save myself the walk. I have another class coming in.
Dick: What, now?
Mary: Uh... in 3 hours.
Dick: I had a really good time last night. It's too bad you had to leave so suddenly, but leaving both your iron and your stove on, I guess that can be pretty dangerous.
Mary: Yeah.

Tommy: Hey, Dick, what are you doing home? I thought you were taking Albright to that new Starbucks.
Harry: Oh, the one down the street from the old one?
Tommy: No, the one in between the two Kinko's.
Harry: Oh. Across from the Barnes & Noble?

Dick: It doesn't matter which Starbucks! She canceled on me. I don't understand. Things were going so well. Why wouldn't she like me?
Tommy: Yeah. You're just like every other guy in town.
Harry: Yeah. There's absolutely nothing remarkable or distinctive about you.
Dick: And yet she resists.
Tommy: But you're completely homogenized!
Dick: There's nothing not to like!
Harry: How much less does she want from you?

Dick: Oh, my. I thought you guys liked it here.
Tommy: We were just saying that 'cause we thought you liked it here.
Dick: I don't like it. I hate it! I thought you liked it!
Harry: I don't like it. I miss my coat, I miss my gnome.
Tommy: Well, hey, I miss my hair! There's some things you can't go back on. We have to tough this out. We did it for the sake of the mission.
Dick: No, this was a mistake! Becoming more average didn't make us more human, it made us less.
Harry: All my bumps and quirks. That's what made me so delightfully Harry.

Dick: Becoming average was interesting, but once we got there, it wasn't interesting at all.
Sally: Yeah. I mean, those people who weren't weird were so... weird. Then I became like them, which was really weird.
Dick: Well, live and learn. We're back to our normal selves.
Tommy: [clears throat]
Dick: Except for Tommy, who has a little cough. But otherwise, everything's as it should be. Am I right, fellas?
Leon: Oh, yeah.
Bug: Yeah, sure.
Pitman: Yeah, you're right.
Dick: Well, I'm turning in.
Sally: Yeah, me, too.
Dick: Which one of you guys is bunking down with me?
Bug: That would be me.
Dick: Well, don't hog the blankets because I sleep in the nude.
Tommy: That's a good idea!
Harry: I'm going to have to try that.