August: Okay. Um my family came to America in 1852 on a Dutch schooner. How about yours?
Tommy: Well, um, my great-grandfather, uh... escaped from the Nazis through the Alps with his family and their singing nanny.
August: Um, Tommy?
Tommy: Yeah?
August: That's The Sound of Music.
Tommy: Yeah, I know. And don't think that we're not suing!

Tommy: Statistically, at least one of us should be divorced by now.
Harry: Ooh, I want that one!
Tommy: And 10% of us should be gay.
Harry: That's not why we got divorced.

Dick: Oh, so suddenly I'm weird.
Mary: Not so suddenly, Dick. I said it today, I said it yesterday, I say it every day.
Dick: Oh, I thought that was just a running joke we had. I'd do something, then after the fire trucks left, you'd let me have it. Ha ha. All in good fun.
Mary: Dick, you and your family... I know you mean well, but sometimes it's like being around the Addams family.
Dick: Well, I will admit that John Adams' views of a strong central government may have been ahead of their time.
Mary: That's not who I meant.
Dick: John Quincy Adams?! You're comparing me to that freak show?!