Nina: It's just that you're acting kinda strange.
Dick: Me, strange? I'm textbook normal. If anyone is strange, it's you. [Nina scoffs] You exercise too much, you drive a stick shift, you drink root beer. Oh, and you're Black.
Nina: What's strange about being Black?
Dick: Let's face it, Nina, most White people aren't.
Nina: But they want to be.

Waiter: And you, sir?
Dick: I can't decide. What is your most popular dish?
Waiter: Well, a lot of people like the steak fajitas.
Dick: Then steak fajitas it is.
Waiter: And, uh, how would you like it cooked?
Dick: Medium.
Waiter: And the salsa?
Dick: Medium.
Waiter: And your drink?
Dick: Cola, medium. No, wait. Yes, medium.

Tommy: Well, I believe that is it.
Harry: As they say in Sweden, fahrvergnugen.

Dick: Damn that Channel 9 weatherman!
Mary: What? It's not raining.
Dick: I know. I cut through his yard, and the sprinklers went off.
Nina: Car wash again?
Dick: Do you see any soap?

Mary: Dick, this guy's kind of a big shot, so when you meet him, try not to act so...
Dick: Brilliant?
Mary: No.
Dick: Athletic?
Mary: Uh, well...
Dick: Gorgeous?
Mary: Weird.
Dick: Weird as in sexy?
Mary: Weird as in weird.

Dick: Oh, August. I'm glad you're here. Tell me, do you think that we are weird?
August: Well, um... I don't think that-
Dick: Oh, come on, come on. I won't be offended. You can be honest.
August: Um... sometimes you can be a little weird.
Dick: And you're a pedantic little twerp! Now get out!
Sally: Get out!
Harry: Get out!

Dick: No, come on. This is important. Our mission is to be average human beings. Is it possible that we're not fitting in as well as we think?
Tommy: Well, Dick, you can be a little weird.
Dick: You're the weirdo.
Tommy: Weird as in sexy?

Mrs. Dubcek: I want you boys to know I'm in bed by 11:00.
Bug: Oh. Well, you know, we'll keep it down.
Mrs. Dubcek: No, I just wanted you to know.

Dick: Well, I think we're ready. Good-bye, Mrs. Dubcek. I believe it was Mr. William Shakespeare who said, "parting is such sweet sorrow--"
Mrs. Dubcek: Bye-bye now.
Dick: Well, onward to a new life.

Harry: Wow.
Tommy: Everything's so...
Sally: Beige.
Dick: Hmm. A perfectly neutral color for perfectly neutral living.
Harry: Hey, I've seen this before. This is stain-resistant carpet. Look. [pours soda and wipes it with his foot] That's a good place for a chair.