Dick: So, uh, Mary, caffeine kick in yet? You ready to dig? Huh?
Mary: You know, I'm done for the day.
Dick: Ooh! What? Oh, no, you can't give up now. Not when you're so close!
Mary: You know, I'm- I'm gonna be in the tent.
Dick: No! But this is your lucky day.
Mary: Oh, I doubt that.
Dick: Oh, no no. Trust me.
Mary: No, I'm leaving-
Dick: Get back in the pit, you loser!
Mary: What?
Dick: Please. I'm sorry. I-- I'm just trying to make you feel better. Here. Give it a few more minutes. I believe in you.

Dick: Come, my Indian princess. Let's go down to the river, shed our buckskins, and party like it's 1399!

Harry: Come on! Rub me!
Sally: I just- I don't wanna.
Harry: Rub me, woman! [long moan] That's the stuff! Did you get me those Les Mis tickets?
Sally: I looked into it, and it's not playing in Ohio.
Harry: Well, after dinner, maybe you and the boy'll act it out.

Dick: There will be a small but formal party for Dr. Albright, tonight at 8. B.Y.O. weenies.

Harry: You know, I got a lot of respect for you people in the service industry. Takes a very dedicated person to wait on somebody hand and foot.
Tommy: Haven't you ever heard of a corn pad?
Harry: You know what I'd like for you to arrange for me, later on? A bachelor party. And you be the entertainment. Come here, baby!

Sally: I'm not just quitting. I'm also checking in.
Tommy: No, you can't do that. But then you're leaving me with the whole workload. What about the other guests?
Sally: I'd like some juice, please.
Harry: Oh, two.
Tommy: I'm not serving you people juice.
Sally: Dear Crown Travel Guide...
Tommy: I don't give a rat's ass what the Crown Travel Guide says. I want juice. I want a pedicure. I want a lap dance at Harry's bachelor party! No, I quit!

Woman: Excuse me, can I get some fresh towels?
Tommy: I'm sorry. We don't work here anymore.
Woman: Pardon?
Tommy: Yeah. So why don't you get your own towels?
Sally: Ooh, wait a second, I have a better idea. Why don't you get out of our house?
Harry: Yeah, get the hell out of our house!
All: Get out!

Dick: Hello, Mary. You must be very mad at me.
Mary: Oh, what makes you say that?
Dick: I had a lot of time to think about it on my walk home.
Mary: I've got nothing to say to you.
Dick: Listen, Mary I'm so sorry. What I did was stupid and irresponsible. But I did it because I love you.
Mary: That's what you do for someone you love? You destroy their reputation? Their integrity? Haven't you ever heard of giving chocolates?

Dick: When you said that you had never found an artifact it just broke my heart. I wanted you to feel what I felt when I discovered my spear head. And you did. For one beautiful moment, you felt it. And you'll always have this to remember it by.
Mary: Oh, my God, it's- It's the ceremonial wedding moon. I thought you threw this in the river.
Dick: No, that was my spear head. I figured, I'll find something else. I'm not so sure about you.
Mary: I can't keep this.
Dick: Why not?
Mary: Because it's not mine. It's- It's Dr. Powell's. He's the one who found it.
Dick: Oh, he's a pompous boob.
Mary: But he found it.
Dick: He'll never miss it.
Mary: Oh, yes he will.
Dick: He thinks it's at the bottom of a river.
Mary: Let's go get a display case.

Harry: Hey, you guys. Look what I stole from that place that we stayed at this weekend.
Sally: Harry, you can't steal your own shampoo.