Tommy: Dick, don't do this to me. I never sleep. I'm exhausted. Besides, you don't have the authority to alter the schedule.
Dick: Of course I do. I'm in command.
Tommy: Yeah? Well, I'm in puberty, pal.
Dick: I don't care what you say. It can't be that bad.
Tommy: I could pop at any minute.
Dick: Aren't you exaggerating just a little?
Tommy: No, here, give me your mind for just a second.
Dick: Oh, please.
Tommy: Come on. Just give me your mind. [they stare at each other]
Dick: Oh! That's disgusting!
Tommy: I know.
Dick: You think like that?
Tommy: All the time.
Dick: We've gotta get you out of here.

Sally: Oh, I will be so glad to get out of this body. What are you doing?
Dick: I'm unpacking.
Tommy: The commander wants to stay a little while longer.
Sally: What for?
Dick: Because we can't leave yet. Did you know that our bodies can produce feelings? I got a whole lot of them from Dr. Albright this afternoon.
Sally: Really?
Dick: Yes. And I'm going to a party to see if I can get a little tonight.

Sally: Oh, Dick, no.
Dick: I'm telling you, it's a crime against science not to experiment with ourselves.
Sally: Well, couldn't we just conduct these experiments in the privacy of our own home? I mean, what can she do that I can't?
Tommy: Lieutenant.
Sally: What?
Tommy: Permission to speak freely?
Sally: Permission granted.
Tommy: Sir, would you jump up and down for us?
Harry: Oh, yeah, and put your hands back behind your head like this.
Sally: I will not.
Dick: Please, for science, truly.
Sally: No. I mean, it's not that I don't want to help. It's just that I don't know how comfortable we would feel working together after an experiment like that.
Guys: [overlapping chatter] It'll be fine. Go ahead. Do it.
Sally: In your dreams!
Tommy: Every night.

Harry: Ooh, I love where you've put these walls.

Mrs. Sumner: May I take your coat?
Dick: If I can keep my pants.

Dick: I'm new at this. You see, I've been getting a feeling, and I'm trying to identify it.
Mary: Rub it. Maybe it'll go away.
Dick: I just want to make it feel better.
Mary: Well, you could start by saying "I'm sorry."
Dick: Okay, I'm sorry.
Mary: Well, you could say it as if you meant it.
Dick: Oh, of course. Dr. Albright, I'm very sorry.
Mary: Thank you.
Dick: Well, that felt great. Let's do it again. Dr. Albright, I'm very sorry. Oh! Ooh! Ohh!
Mary: Get away from me!
Dick: What did I not do right?
Mary: Go away!
Dick: I don't understand!