Don: Sally, where have you been? I've been looking for you.
Sally: Hold that thought. Listen, Harry, get a hammer. Tommy, get the sack. I'll get the string cheese.
Tommy: "String cheese"?
Sally: Oh, God, I'm starving!

Judith: I'd like to propose a toast. To Dick and Mary. May you both be as happy as I am.

Dick: I've made my decision. I'd rather die here with Mary than risk losing her forever.
Sally: Oh, okay, all right. You're the High Commander, and we respect your decision. Get him!
Mary: [enters] What the hell?
Dick: Oh, uh, hello, Mary. Don't worry. The "besacking" of the groom is a time-honored tradition.
Mary: What kind of tradition?
Harry: I'm gonna go with "Jewish."

Sally: Dick, are you sure, absolutely sure you want to go back to the party?
Dick: Absolutely.
Sally: Well, this is good bye, then.
Mary: It's just cake and champagne. He'll be home in half an hour.
Sally: Oh, yeah. True.
Dick: So I'll see you in a half an hour.
Sally: Sounds good.
Dick: Pick up some milk on the way home, hmm?
Sally: I will. I promise.

Tommy: I'll be at the mall if you need me.
Dick: But don't stay long. It's a school night, and I worry.
Harry: Come to the store, Dick. Our coupons are in your car. [wails] They've always been in your car!
Mary: For crying out loud, he's just getting married.
Dick: Oh, yeah.
Tommy: Well, we got to go. The store closes at 8:53. [Sally, Harry and Tommy exit]
Dick: Good bye!
Mary: Will they be living with us?

Nina: I never dreamed I'd see the day Dr. Albright settled down.
Judith: Mary hasn't settled down. She's just settled. [laughs]

Mary: I know this sounds strange, but I had a dream you asked me to marry you.
Dick: You had a what?
Mary: A dream. [giggles] I was drowning in a swimming pool, and my father was the lifeguard, and he was saving me, and I looked up and it wasn't him, it was you. And you were wearing flippers and black socks, and you offered me a ring.
Dick: Mary, it's contagious! You're as crazy as I am!
Mary: I know it's crazy. It woke me up out of a sound sleep.
Dick: Yes! That's when it strikes, when you're asleep!
Mary: Well, yeah, Dick. That's when most people dream.
Dick: "Most people dream"?
Mary: What's the matter with you?
Dick: Nothing. Nothing's the matter with me. And there's nothing the matter with Tommy and Sally. Oh, my God! There's nothing the matter with any of us!
Mary: Where are you going?
Dick: Home! Before it's too late!

Dick: Hello? Sally? Harry? Tommy? "Dear Dick, of all the people we've worked for, you were the best, you stupid, stupid man." And they're gone. I miss them. "P.S. We got you a wedding gift. Hope you like it." A toaster. The toaster from the kitchen.

Sally: Don? Don? Where's Don?
Don: Sally.
Sally: Oh, Don! I didn't kill you? I didn't kill you!
Don: No, you just emasculated me.
Sally: I've got to see something. [rips Don's shirt open]
Don: Sally!
Sally: No feathers.

Don: Okay, so she's crazy, but she's got legs up to her face!