Mrs. Dubcek: I used to be a cheerleader in high school, but they threw me off the squad because I forgot to wear underwear... occasionally.

Harry: Ugh, this stuff is terrible!
Tommy: Dick, it's got twigs in it.
Dick: Twigs are the meat of the desert.
Harry: Okay, I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Sally's cooking.
Tommy: Yeah. In all the horrible meals she ever cooked us, she never once tried to feed us wood.

Judith: What have I missed?
Don: A lot. You missed ESPN 2's preview of the ESPN Super Bowl pregame show.
Rico: And the CNBC pregame show, which is the first preview of the NBC Super Bowl pre-pregame preview.
Don: Grab yourself a waffle and a beer. It's only T-minus six hours to kick off.

Judith: Oh! You call that a hit? Put some shoulder in it! I used to play rugby.

Dick: Well, guys, I guess this is it.
Tommy: I suppose it's appropriate. We came to this world together, and now we're gonna leave it together.
Sally: You know what happened? We stayed on this planet too long. Remember the first rule of intergalactic travel: never get attached.
Harry: I thought it was never get a cat.

Prell: What will we do here on Earth? We have no skills.
Chloe: Except for evil manipulation.
Gabriella: And that's not a career.
Prell: No one needs us.
Dick: Has television taught you nothing? You've seen our advertisements. Women like you are our unattainable standard. Every product you use, every trend you embrace becomes our obsession. You are the shapely and elusive carrot that our homely old horses will chase for eternity. Our insecurities spurring us on, demanding that we spend, spend, spend! No one needs you? Our global economy depends on you.
Women: Wow!
Dick: So, stay stay where you are needed. And where you are needed...
Women: We get it!

Dick: Hello, Mary! How was your trip?
Mary: Awful. We didn't even make it to the Super Bowl.
Dick: Well, you probably had a better time at Ocean World, anyway.
Nina: How do you know we went to Ocean World?
Dick: What else would you do if your tickets got stolen?
Mary: We never mentioned our tickets were stolen.
Dick: Well, whatever happened, you're probably better off not having gone to that game.
Mary: Why would you say that?
Dick: Well, the sodas were $4.95. And the hot dogs- [screams]

Dick: [telephone rings] Is that your cell phone?
Harry: No, it's not my cell phone. Is it your cell phone?
Tommy: We don't have cell phones! We're from Ohio.
Harry: Oh, wait a second. It's Mascha's compact. Whoo! Should I answer it?
Dick: Uh, no! Tommy, you answer it.
Tommy: Why me?
Dick: Because you look like a girl.

Dick: I'll get us supplies.
Tommy: Wait, Dick, we don't have any money.
Dick: Watch this. I know how these trading posts work. [loudly] Greetings. We give you blankets and shiny hubcap. You give us chili dogs and gas.
Man: Greetings, white eyes. We take cash or credit card.

Harry: Can you give me a hint?
Mascha: We're doing something, something big, Sunday, in San Diego.
Harry: Is that all you can tell me?
Mascha: Sunday at a stadium in San Diego.
Harry: Just one clue, for old times' sake?
Mascha: At the Super Bowl!
Harry: Work with me, baby! Which Super Bowl?!
Mascha: I have to go now, Harry. Why are the cute ones always so dumb? [exits]
Harry: Come on, boys! We're going to San Francisco!
Mascha: [o.s.] San Diego!
Harry: San Diego!