Sally: [v.o.] Lieutenant's log. I don't know how long I've been here. I don't know how long they're gonna keep me. I don't know what I know anymore. On the plus side, my skin looks great.
Chloe: So, what are you?
Sally: I am a Venusian.
Gabriella: What do Venusians do?
Sally: They seize control and make it look effortless.
Chloe: How many Venusians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sally: None. They get a man to do it.

Dick: [on the phone] Hello, I'd like 3 tickets to the Super Bowl, please.
Harry: Good ones.
Tommy: Yeah, 50-yard line.
Harry: Sky box.
Dick: Sold out? But the game doesn't start for eight hours. Hello?

Tommy: Find the tickets.
Harry: Ah, yes. She's either hidden them under the carpet or sewed them into the chair.
Tommy: Found them.
Harry: Where were they?
Tommy: In the drawer.
Harry: Genius!

Ticket Taker: Wow! That baby has a big head.
Dick: Well, it, uh, runs in the family.
Ticket Taker: And the hair?
Dick: Yes, I know. We have a very ugly baby.
Ticket Taker: Hey, Vivian! Come look at this baby's head!
Tommy: Why don't you shove your little comments-
Dick: Oh, is he thirsty? He's thirsty.

Dick: Tommy, you go first. You look like a girl.
Tommy: As soon as we get back, I'm getting a haircut.

Ticket Taker: These aren't Super Bowl tickets.
Mary: Yes, they are.
Ticket Taker: These are tickets to Ocean World.
Mary: No, they're not.
Ticket Taker: See that big fish?
Mary: It's not a fish, it's a mammal.
Ticket Taker: Move on out of the way. Move!

Dick: What is your evil plan, Prell?
Harry: Are you gonna keep us here and make us your sex slaves?
Prell: No.
Tommy: Are you sure? I mean, that would be a pretty good evil plan.
Dick: Oh, it would be torturous.

Chloe: We have noticed that when you earthmen are bombarded with images of hops, barley, breasts, and fun, you become weak and susceptible to suggestion.
Prell: We have created a beer commercial and we will broadcast this during...
Dick: The Super Bowl?
Prell: Yes, and thank you for ruining my dramatic moment.
Dick: Excuse me, but wouldn't it have been easier to just buy a commercial?
Prell: During the Super Bowl? Have you any idea how much that costs?

Dick: But you know, looking back on the last two years, living as a human with the three of you, I wouldn't change a thing.
Female Voice: The control room will self-destruct in 3 minutes.
Dick: Well, except this last thing where we blow up.

Dick: [on TV] Run for your lives! The big women are angry! Save yourself while you still can!
Judith: Boy, I must be buzzed ' cause I thought that was Dick.
Don: Yeah. Me, too. Have I ever told you how attractive I find you?
Judith: No. And I hope you never do.
[As Don turns away from Judith, she places her hand on his thigh. Don moves over and kisses her.]