Harry: Ugh, this stuff is terrible!
Tommy: Dick, it's got twigs in it.
Dick: Twigs are the meat of the desert.
Harry: Okay, I never thought I'd say this, but I miss Sally's cooking.
Tommy: Yeah. In all the horrible meals she ever cooked us, she never once tried to feed us wood.

Dick: Hello, Mary! How was your trip?
Mary: Awful. We didn't even make it to the Super Bowl.
Dick: Well, you probably had a better time at Ocean World, anyway.
Nina: How do you know we went to Ocean World?
Dick: What else would you do if your tickets got stolen?
Mary: We never mentioned our tickets were stolen.
Dick: Well, whatever happened, you're probably better off not having gone to that game.
Mary: Why would you say that?
Dick: Well, the sodas were $4.95. And the hot dogs- [screams]

Judith: Oh! You call that a hit? Put some shoulder in it! I used to play rugby.