‘The Negotiation’
Season 3, Episode 19 - Aired April 5, 2007
After Darryl demands a pay rise and learns how much Michael really makes, he coaches his boss to demand more money from Corporate. Meanwhile, Dwight is the hero of the office after he defends Jim from Roy.
Quote from Darryl
Michael Scott: I'm not going to go out and ask for a raise right now. That is ridiculous.
Darryl: Well, when they merged the two branches together, they put you in charge. Okay? And we're shipping more now than we ever have.
Michael Scott: That's true. Yeah, that's true. You got to call your girl and get paid. Show her who wears the pants in the relationship.
Michael Scott: You know what, I should.
Darryl: Yeah, you should.
Michael Scott: I've been a loyal employee for a long time.
Darryl: Fourteen years long.
Michael Scott: You know what, I deserve a bump.
Darryl: Make it happen, Captain.
Michael Scott: I am making it happen, Sergeant.
Quote from Kelly
Kelly: You are so mean.
Ryan: I don't know what you're talking about.
Kelly: Yes, you do, Ryan Bailey Howard. You called me stupid.
Ryan: No. I said-
Quote from Toby
Michael Scott: Toby, come on, let's go.
Toby: Where?
Michael Scott: Where? I'm going to smack you in the head with a hammer. Come on, let's go.
Kelly: [to Ryan] What is so stupid about wanting to name a baby Usher?
Toby: All right.
Quote from Kelly
Kelly: Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapoor.
Ryan: Don't you see why that's insane?
Kelly: Oh, so I'm crazy now?
Quote from Kelly
Kelly: [answering the phone] Dunder Mifflin, customer service. This is Kelly. Oh, yeah, I can totally help you with that. Okay. Let me just get the folder out. Okay, it seems here that you ordered 12,000 reams of paper. Oh, 12 reams?
Quote from Darryl
Darryl: Bring it home now. And don't forget the new black-man phrase I taught you.
Michael Scott: Pippety poppety, give me the zoppety.
Darryl: Yes, sir. Remember that. I'll be right outside if you need me.
Quote from Roy
Roy: I'm so sorry, Pammy. I mean, I wasn't going to do anything, but then I kept thinking about you two together. I just thought you guys were really good friends or maybe he was gay or something. Not that that's wrong.
Quote from Pam
Pam: I'm sorry, too. I just I think that we both made some bad choices.
Roy: So, you going to start dating Halpert then?
Pam: Um. No. No. He has a girlfriend.
Roy: Oh, yeah. Wait a minute, you broke up our wedding for the guy.
Pam: No. There were a lot of reasons.
Roy: What, you're not even going to try to go out with him? I don't get you, Pam.
Pam: I know.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Negotiation is an art. Back and forth. Give and take. And today, both Darryl and I took something. Higher salaries. Win, win, win. But, you know, life is about more than just salary. It's about perks. Like having sex with Jan Michael.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Andy: Hey, guys, guess who's back? [Dwight pepper sprays Andy, he screams] Oh, God!
[later, Dwight talks to camera as Toby removes all his weapons:]
Dwight K. Schrute: No need to thank me. I'm not a hero. I'm a mere defender of the office. You know who's a real hero? Hiro from Heroes. That's a hero. Also Bono.