Michael Scott: [on the phone] Well, if he doesn't like it, you can tell that S.O.B. that he is fired. Sorry, I'm going into a meeting right now. I will. I love you too. Bye.
Jim: Who was that?
Michael Scott: Sorry about that. What'd I miss?
David: Michael, we would like to continue the rest of this meeting in private, please, if you don't mind.
Michael Scott: I do not mind. Yes, I do. No, I don't. Yes, I do. No, I don't mind. Catch you guys on the flippity-flop. Oh, this. This call waiting. [answering phone] Yeah, well you tell the mayor he just lost six votes.

Pam: So I just wanted to confirm that you're not coming to my wedding.
Ryan: Yeah, I might stop by.
Pam: It costs about $75 per person.
Ryan: Okay, I once had a glass of cognac that cost $77.
Pam: Can you just tell me now if you're coming or not?
Ryan: Yes, I'm coming to your wedding.
Pam: Okay. [writing down] Ryan Howard, yes.
Ryan: Probably yes.
Pam: Kelly Kapoor yes.

David: You think you can get me a rundown on the Buffalo clients by Monday?
Michael Scott: Abso- You know what? I'll do you one better. Sunday, Sunday night.
David: Okay, I will get it Monday.
Michael Scott: Hold on, big guy. I'm going to put it in the mail Sunday night. You'll get it Wednesday.

Michael Scott: What's this about?
Jim: It's just me and David, if it's okay.
Michael Scott: It's okay with me, but he's gonna want me in there.
David: No, it's okay, Michael. We got it.
Michael Scott: All right, do you mind if I sit this out? I have so much work to do, I feel like I'm gonna blow my brains out.

Creed: They've been in there a while. Can't be good. Think they're talking about me?
Michael Scott: No, I think they're talking about me.
Creed: Yeah, that makes way more sense. Okay, thanks, boss.

Pam: Hey, Kelly.
Kelly: Ugh. So jealous of your boobs.
Pam: Thank you. Um. Listen, I just wanted to confirm that you're not coming to the wedding, which is totally understandable, and more than fine.
Kelly: Is Ryan going?
Pam: I don't know, he hasn't RSVPed yet.

Kelly: [to Pam] Here's the deal. I really want to go. But I'm not gonna go if Ryan doesn't go, because it's kind of a waste of time. That came out wrong. It would be awesome if you could try to get him to go because I'd really like to be there to support Jim.

Andy: What can I do for you, hoss?
Michael Scott: How are your sales doing?
Andy: How are my sales doing? Busted. My numbers are down. A little bit. It's 'cause of the economy. [Michael is silent] You're not buying it. You're good. Okay, the truth is I have been having trouble focusing lately. I'm in this weird, flirty, nebulous thing with this cousin of mine. And it's a total mind f'er.
Phyllis: Again with the cousin.
Andy: Oh, I'm sorry, Phyllis. You explain this email, okay? "Hey, Andy, let's go visit grandma and then get drunk together. Ha ha."

Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, worker's comp my ass!
Toby: I can't believe this. Hey you, you [bleep]! You gonna eat all that dog food yourself?

David: I thought you liked Jim.
Michael Scott: Very much. Jim is my best friend. But here's his performance report. Right here. Now, this was written by Toby. Who we all know is extremely reliable. "Constant office distraction. Spends way too much time at reception. Antagonizes other salesmen. Not at all what he thinks he is." It's not very well written, but you get the gist.