David: Is there anybody else could run the day-to-day of the branch?
Michael Scott: I could continue to run it myself, that's-
David: Jim had an interesting idea to help you with this extra workload. And it involved you being promoted to oversee all Northeast sales. And then Jim would be promoted to your position.
Michael Scott: This was Jim's idea? Wow. Um. Well, I'd have to talk to my mother and my guy at H&R block.

Jim: Michael, look. I'll just be honest with you. Earlier today, I spoke with Wallace about a promotion. And I actually think that talk went really well. And then after he spoke with you, for some reason, it felt like things had changed.
Michael Scott: Huh. That's weird. That's weird. Kind of weirding me out. Did you know that Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy?

Jim: Michael, did you say anything?
Michael Scott: Tell you what, when you leave this office, I am going to call Wallace and I am going to tell him that you should get that promotion.
Jim: Really?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Jim: You will?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Jim: Wanna do it right now?
Michael Scott: Yes.

Dwight K. Schrute: I need to see your pupils. I need to see if they're dilated.
Darryl: Toby! Dwight! Is that them?
Gwenneth: Definitely.
Darryl: You come to my house, bust up my trash cans, call my baby sister an asshole and told her to eat dog food?
Dwight K. Schrute: We thought that she was you.
Darryl: Why would you think a lady is me?
Dwight K. Schrute: Are you- Are you serious? Because you look exactly alike. Am I the only one? Are you getting this?

David: [answering phone] This is David.
Michael Scott: David, this is Michael Scott. Just wanted to talk to you about Jim Halpert. I understand that he did not receive that promotion. And I wanted to see what I could do to nudge you in the right direction.
David: So what? You're changing your mind about Jim?
Michael Scott: Absolutely not! Like I said before, Jim is fantastic, and he deserves this job.
David: Michael, it seems like you're cutting in and out. This is not what you said earlier.
Michael Scott: Well, here's the thing. Jim is the best man for this job. I think you should give it to him.
David: Well, it doesn't change what you showed me in Jim's file.
Michael Scott: Well... That- That was an anomaly. That file had been falsified. Toby Flenderson is doing drugs.

Michael Scott: Hey, hey, Jim. It would make me feel really good right now if you would just punch me in the face. All right? Just do it.
Jim: How many times have I asked you to put me up for a branch manager job?
Michael Scott: I never recommended you because I didn't want to lose you. And I don't want to lose Pam. Now I don't want to lose the baby.
Jim: So instead, you screwed me?
Michael Scott: That's what she said. No!

David: [on speaker] Michael. You got Jim there with you?
Michael Scott: No, it's just us.
David: Actually, can you call Jim in? I want him on, please.
Michael Scott: Oh. Well, here he is right now. [knocking on wood table, creaking sound of door opening] Come in. [making footstep sounds]
Jim: Hi, David.
David: So I spoke to Alan. We had kind of an unconventional idea, which I think is pretty cool. But it only works if everyone's on board.
Michael Scott: Well, just as long as it means Jim becomes a manager.
David: We were thinking of having two branch managers in Scranton. Both of you guys working as co-managers. Jim would handle the day-to-day, and, Michael, you would focus on clients and big picture stuff.
Jim: Wow, that sounds pretty cool.
Michael Scott: I like that! So manager and co-manager.
David: Co-manager and co-manager. You see, there are a lot of moving pieces, but this is the only way I could sell it upstairs.
Michael Scott: Well, that might be a little confusing for people as they know me as manager.
David: All right, hey, Michael, can you pick up for one second? Okay, look, I'm not gonna force you into anything.
If you're willing to lose Jim, fine. You just say so. We'll find another solution. Okay. Is that what you want to do?

Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, people, listen up!
Michael Scott: Everybody, I have an announcement to make.
Dwight K. Schrute: Fraud was committed-
Michael Scott: You have an announcement?
Dwight K. Schrute: I was making it.

Michael Scott: Everybody, David Wallace and I have talked, and we have decided to promote Jim to the position of co-manager.
Stanley: Co-manager of what?
Michael Scott: Of your butt! And your butt, and your butt... All of Scranton branch butts.
Phyllis: What's happening to you, Michael?
Michael Scott: What's happening to me? I am also being promoted to co-manager. We will be co-managers together. Jim Halpert, welcome.
Jim: Thank you.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: [screams]

Angela: Rude.
Pam: [sitting down] So rude, right? My gosh. I have been chasing people down all day. It's incredible.
Angela: Pam, my bag was there.