‘The Delivery’
Season 6, Episode 17 - Aired March 4, 2010
When Pam's contractions start at the office, she vows not to leave for the hospital until midnight. As the contractions get closer and Pam is still unwilling to go, Jim realizes she's afraid of giving birth. Meanwhile, Dwight seeks out Angela for a "business" proposal.
Later, with Pam and Jim at the hospital, Dwight does some renovation work on their house, and Michael attempts to play matchmaker at the office.
Quote from Stanley
Michael Scott: The purpose for this meeting is to take Pam's mind off of what's going on inside of her body.
Andy: Can we do sleight of hand tricks?
Michael Scott: I will allow that.
Andy: Yes! Can anyone do those?
Stanley: I'm going to go look at the Internet.
Quote from Michael Scott
Pam: No, not yet, Michael.
Michael Scott: We can do...
Pam: Oh, wow, it's almost time for ultra feast! Where's Kevin?
Michael Scott: Oh. What? You want to eat cat food with Kevin and not go to the hospital?
Oscar: That's fancy feast. Ultra feast is something they made up so they can pig out together in the name of ceremony.
Michael Scott: What is October feast?
Quote from Oscar
Michael Scott: Go bag! Where's my go bag? Where's my go bag?
Erin: There's nothing in it.
Michael Scott: You are telling me now that there is nothing in it. Okay, great! Oh, hey, hey, um, should I bring a dictionary to the hospital?
Oscar: The hospital will provide dictionaries, bring a thesaurus!
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: [smoking a cigar, talking like a "Golden Age" actor] Yeah, that's right. It's a baby, see?
Doctor: Sir! Sir, you can't smoke that in here. Put it, put it out.
Michael Scott: Okay. You can't smoke anywhere these days.
Quote from Jim
Jim: I am a diapering master. I have done little else in the past two months. There is nothing I cannot diaper. Go ahead. Try to think of something. I dare you.
Quote from Stanley
Michael Scott: I am offering up my services to you all. You saw what I did with Pam and Jim. I can help you, too.
Stanley: Why don't you find someone for yourself instead of meddling in our affairs?
Michael Scott: Okay, show of hands. Who wants to live in a world where Stanley has two lovers and you don't have any? [Stanley raises his hand] Who else? Come on! People, I know models!
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: [answering the phone] Hey, what's up, kid?
Angela: Have you had a chance to look over the revisions on the contract I've prepared for you?
Dwight K. Schrute: Nothing left to do except dot the I's, the J's, and the umlauts. Why don't you meet me here at exactly mid-late afternoon?
Angela: I look forward to it.
Dwight K. Schrute: Very well.
Angela: Goodbye.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: Two forms of ID, please.
Angela: And now you, two forms of ID, please. Alright, all is in order. I just need your signature. What is it?
Dwight K. Schrute: Nothing.
Angela: Alright. How would you like to celebrate?
Dwight K. Schrute: Just pour yourself a cup of apple juice. I feel sick... [Jim and Pam enter] I couldn't find your iPod. Give me a couple days. Be out of your hair.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Oh, oh, oh! Contraption! She's contrapting! Okay, you know what? I think I should drive you guys to the hospital, and here is why. I am a licensed, classy driver in the state of Pennsylvania.
Jim: Michael.
Michael Scott: I gassed up the car. Actually, I put diesel in this time, trying to save some money.
Jim: Michael, you shouldn't have done that.
Michael Scott: Happy to do it.
Quote from Meredith
Michael Scott: Meredith? Come on, you're obviously single.
Meredith: You know it. I am never getting married.
[aside to camera:]
Meredith: Like Clooney.