Michael Scott: Martin went from being a new guy from Stamford to the convict, to my friend, back to a convict, then to kind of a nuisance, actually, if we could be completely honest, and finally, to a quitter. And I will not miss him. And that is not because he is black.

Andy: [playing banjo, high-pitched singing] So we've been told and some choose to believe it But I know they're wrong wait and see 'Cause one day we'll find it The ainbow-ray anection-cay The lovers, the dreamers and me!

Jim: Yes, I have started to see Karen. It's very new and- Not really ready to talk about it openly yet just because I think, once the word gets out there, it might affect the way people behave around us or I don't know. Just not yet.

Pam: Who is it?
Michael Scott: Hannah?
Kevin: Andy?
Angela: Andy?
Kevin: Martin?
Michael Scott: Oh, you are such a racist.
Kevin: Wait, why am I a racist?
Michael Scott: Because you think he's black.
Kevin: He is black, right, and-
Michael Scott: Stop it, stop it right. Just stop it right now!

Michael Scott: So what we need to do is to forget about this whole Martin-in-prison thing. People will draw unfair conclusions about Martin and/or black people.
Kevin: Cool.
Pam: Okay. Angela?
Angela: Sure. Let's protect the convicts at the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a 90-pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally, I agree with that.
Michael Scott: Good.

Andy: [on the phone] How about ... Angela? Blondes are more fun. Come on, trust me on that.
Jim: Yeah, trust me. That would be fun for no one.
Andy: Okay, fine.
Jim: Okay.
Andy: Pam, the receptionist. Pam, should I go for it?
Jim: Absolutely, you should.
Andy: Jackpot.

Martin: So, you all wanna know what I was in for?
Michael Scott: No, that's not cool. You don't have to tell them.
Martin: I really don't mind. It was stupid mistake. I was working in finance and I got involved in some insider trading. So, I spent a little time in the clink.
Michael Scott: [laughs] That is awesome.

Michael Scott: Did you have TV in the joint?
Martin: Yeah, in the rec room.
Michael Scott: Ah. Like a 10-inch black and white?
Martin: Actually, our TV was bigger than that one.

Michael Scott: All right, everybody, there has been a lot of name-calling against our office today, corporate maligning, slurring, much of it coming from one of you, who claims that prison is better than here. And none of us can say, "Boo," because none of us have ever been to prison. Well, there's somebody I'd like you to meet. Somebody else who has been to prison, who can tell you what it is really like. [puts on a bandanna] I'm Prison Mike! You know why they call me Prison Mike?
Angela: Do you really expect us to believe you're somebody else?
Michael Scott: Do you really expect me to not push you up against the wall, biatch?
All: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Michael Scott: Okay. Okay, fine. You guys think prison is so great. All right. Well, here you go.
Jim: Okay, Michael, come on, let us out.
Michael Scott: No! If you think prison is so wonderful, then enjoy prison.