Andy: She should go home. It's not the end of the world. We'll go on our date next week. She's still gonna like me in a week. Right?

Michael Scott: A real Hoop Dreams story you got there. Oh man, you seem to have caught Jo's eye. How'd you make that happen?
Darryl: I impressed her with my good ideas.
Michael Scott: Hmm. Seriously, how did you do it?
Darryl: I made a suggestion at the meeting that was good. You were there.
Michael Scott: How do I put this delicately? Does her family owe your family something, in terms of a past injustice?
Darryl: Now, Mike, I have to ask you to leave, so that I can learn about this tiny television.

Erin: Oh! Andy!
Andy: Hi!
Erin: I'm in my jammy-jams!
Andy: That's okay, I'm in my "worky-works." You look amazing!

Dwight K. Schrute: Hi there, Jo. Sorry to interrupt. Um, this evening I have- [phone rings]
Jo: [answering phone] Hello?
Jim: Hey, Jo, it's Jim Halpert. I actually scheduled a meeting at 7:30 with a very important client. And it's so weird, because we never have meetings after 5 pm. But I was hoping that maybe just this once, it would be okay.
Jo: Well sure. You know, you go ahead and push some printers.
Jim: You know I will. And by the way, seriously, we never, never do this!
Jo: Okay.
Jim: Okay.
Jo: Sorry, sugar. What'd you want?
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, you see, I actually do have a meeting. With a client. I'm just gonna reschedule for next week.
Jo: Thank you.
Jim: [on the way out] Thanks again by the way. [pats Dwight on the shoulder]

Andy: So, how does the whole foster sibling thing work? Do you guys share one parent or-?
Erin: None. We were in the same house from ages ten to twelve. And then from fifteen to eighteen.
Andy: All right. Formative years.
Reid: Nice skirt.
Andy: Yeah, it's a kilt.

Jo: Overnight all my damn bags home. I'm carrying nothing but my Sable gloves. I've had it with Homeland Security. And I want you to put all those tracking numbers in my Blackberry.

Michael Scott: Hello, Jo.
Jo: Anything I can do for you, puddin'?
Michael Scott: There is, as a matter of fact. It's getting sorta late. It's 8:30. And it's St. Patrick's Day, which is a world ethnic holiday. So I have decided I'm going to dismiss my employees.
Jo: Hmm.
Michael Scott: I'm thrilled with the work they've done today, both quality and the quantity. Great performance, Very, very solid all the way around.
Jo: All right then.
Michael Scott: Okay. Happy St. Patrick's Day. [starts to leave] And also, I would like to say that I will be canceling my trip down to Tallahassee. Although I do look forward to our professional relationship.
Jo: Michael?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Jo: I look forward to that too.

Michael Scott: Hello. I want you to stop what you're doing right now. You are stressed, and I'm taking you to lunch.
Jo: No, that's very generous of you, but I'm all set.
Michael Scott: No is not an option.
Jo: Yes it is.
Michael Scott: All right. Well if you need me, I'll be on the other side of that wall. Knock once for yes, twice for no.
Jo: How many knocks does it take to get you to do some work?

Erin: This fax came for you. [coughs]
Jo: Oh, no, no, no! Are you feeling ill?
Erin: Uh-
Jo: Oh no, honey, if you got a bug, I want you to go on home. I can't have you getting Callie and Jo Jr. sick. These dogs have got to be in a commercial with Dwight Howard next week.
Erin: Oh! No. I feel like I could lift a car.
Jo: Yeah, but you sound like death, girl. Now why don't you go on home and take care of yourself and get in bed. And shred that and have them send me a clean fax, alright?

Michael Scott: [on the phone] Hey Pack-man.
Todd: Hey what's up, Butt-plug?
Michael Scott: How you doing stud? You already there?
Todd: Dude, I've been here since three! I've boot and rallied twice.
Michael Scott: How's the lady situation?
Todd Packer: Fat and ugly. You might actually have a chance.
Michael Scott: Ah, damn. That sounds great. Unfortunately, I am stuck here, because my boss is making us work late.
Todd: Oh here's what you do. Hike up your skirt and pull out your tampon, borrow some balls and come meet me!
Michael Scott: Yeah. Maybe next year.
Todd: Maybe next "queer." Hey ladies, who wants some bangers and mash? [call disconnects]