Michael Scott: As it turns out, you can't just check someone into rehab against their will. They have to do it voluntarily. And they have to hit rock bottom. So I think I know what I need to do at this point. I need to find ways to push Meredith to the bottom. Um. I think I can do it. I did it with Jan.

Phyllis: This is the first Christmas party I'm throwing as head of the party planning committee. The theme is "Nights in Morocco." This isn't your grandmother's Christmas party. Unless, of course, she's from Morocco, in which case it's very accurate.

Angela: I am not gonna judge Phyllis for desecrating Christmas. There is one person who will, though. And she just stuffed him into a drawer.

Andy: Ange, check it out. [sings] There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance...
Angela: Really, Andy? It's Christmas And you're singing about nudity and France.
Andy: [sings] There's a hole in the wall where the men can see it all

Michael Scott: Jim, check that out.
Jim: What is it?
Michael Scott: That is vodka, and I mixed it with orange juice. I call it an "Orange Vod-juice-ka."
Jim: Wow, that is delicious. I can't believe no one's thought of it.
Michael Scott: I know.

Dwight K. Schrute: Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-ka-ching.

Phyllis: It looks like we're gonna be here for a while, so why don't you make a plate of hummus for everyone? Little triangles of pita toasted on both sides, fanned, so you can easily grab them.
Angela: I don't-
Phyllis: And napkins. Fanned.

Michael Scott: How do you feel?
Meredith: A little better. I threw up.
Michael Scott: T.M.I.
Kevin: Fire girl! [off Jim's look] Too soon.

Michael Scott: Okay, you know what I thought we should do is have a quick intervention, and then get back to the party.
Toby: Michael, we're only allowed to talk about Meredith's work performance. We cannot ask her to stop drinking.
Michael Scott: I am not asking her to stop drinking. I am imploring her to quit being an alcoholic.
Meredith: I'm not an alcoholic.
Michael Scott: Yeah. Obviously you are. Okay, everybody who thinks that Meredith is an alcoholic, please raise your hands.
Dwight K. Schrute: Aye.
Michael Scott: The ayes have it.

Toby: Michael, we should contact some experts. You don't know what you're doing.
Michael Scott: Toby, one of my employees is undergoing a crisis. And I wish for just once you would take my side on this. I'm doing your job, man.