Michael Scott: So this one goes with my eyes and this one goes with your eyes. People said I have very pretty eyes.
Jan: You do.
Michael Scott: I haven't heard the same about you. So let's just go with mine.
Jan: Well, they both go with the carpet that I've ordered. And if we go with the brown leather sofas, they go with that too.
Michael Scott: We already have a sofa, so why d-
Jan: A futon's not a sofa.
Michael Scott: It folds up. You've only seen it flat.
Jan: I know what a futon is, Michael.

Michael Scott: [on the phone] Ryan, my man.
Ryan: I sent you email you about the new Powerpoint.
Michael Scott: Yes, thanks for sending that to me.
Ryan: I had I.T. install the updated Powerpoint on your computer so you can use it for the presentation. I really want people there using Powerpoint.
Michael Scott: Okay, yeah. No, I don't know. I don't know. I think those I.T. guys messed up.
Ryan: Hold on, I'll get them on the phone.
Michael Scott: Wait, no, here it is, here it is. Found it.

Michael Scott: Used to have two cars. Tred 'em in. Now we're down to one. Good economic sense. Although the new car's a Porsche. For her.

Jim: What do you got going on tonight?
Michael Scott: You wouldn't understand. It's a secret.
Jim: I wouldn't understand or it's a secret?
Pam: You wouldn't understand, Jim. It's a secret.

Michael Scott: Good night, Vikram.
Vikram: Night.
Michael Scott: Congrats on the bonus.
Vikram: Thank you, Michael.
Michael Scott: I'm going to nab it one of these nights.
Vikram: Well, if you concentrate and make your calls faster, yeah.
Michael Scott: Good night.

Pam: Hey Dwight, how are you?
Dwight K. Schrute: Pam.
Jim: You okay?
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm better than you have ever been or ever will be.

Ryan: Why is Darryl here? He works in the warehouse.
Kelly: I invited him.
Ryan: It's not a party. Darryl, downstairs, this isn't information you need.
Darryl: This information here? Yeah, you're right. I don't need this.

Ryan: Wait. This doesn't matter. And I don't even care. Michael, you quit the other job, or you're fired here.

Michael Scott: I've never done this before. I've never quit anything in my life, so... You are filming history.

Pam: What's up?
Andy: Me, all night, dreaming about Angela's smoking hot body.
Pam: You're being gross.
Andy: Not from a male perspective. You need to set me up with her. I know she told you she's looking and she's totally not responding to my moves.
Pam: What moves?
Andy: I've moonwalked past accounting, like, ten times.
Pam: Can't believe it's not working.
Andy: Yeah.