Michael Scott: We have three scenes to film, big scenes. We have a song to write, so let's get cracking. Kelly, I want you to do make-up. Oscar, I would like you to do costume design obviously. Phyllis, I'd like you to look around town and see if we have any celebrities in our local area.

Michael Scott: Time out. Time out. I thought I was under the impression that this was going to be a rap.
Darryl: What's rap?
Michael Scott: Okay, Darryl, wow. You need to learn about your own culture. I'll make you a mix.
Darryl: Great.

Pam: Who's that?
Jim: Oh, it's just my avatar guy, whatever.
Pam: He looks a lot like you! How much time did you spend on that?
Jim: Not much. It's just for tracking Dwight. There's no-
Pam: Right. You're a sportswriter in Philadelphia? Nice build, too.
Jim: Yep.
Pam: You have a guitar slung on your back. I did not know you played guitar.
Jim: I- Why don't we go back to the animation?
Pam: No, no! I want to see more of Philly Jim. I want Philly Jim.

Jim: Pam is staying late tonight to achieve her dreams. So I'm pretty proud of her. Unfortunately, she was my ride home.
Meredith: You comin'?
Jim: I...
Meredith: Piss or get off the pot.

Andy: Claude Van Damme- Hair for men- Poison gas- Nutrasweet It's gotta rhyme with "piece." Fancy feast! Break me off a piece of that fancy feast. It's a cat food. Nailed it.

Michael Scott: Yeah, everything! It's all good! Phyllis.
Phyllis: Dancing babies!
Michael Scott: Dancing babies. I love it!

Michael Scott: We are making a commercial for Dunder Mifflin today. Our first ad ever. Corporate purchased some airtime in local markets to spread the word about Dunder Mifflin Infinity, and they are even sending up a professional ad company to help us make it later, so it's not too shabby.

Michael Scott: All right, so anybody else?
Pam: I'm taking a computer animation class, so I could try to do a logo.
Michael Scott: Look at that. Even the receptionist is getting in on the creativity. Very good.

Michael Scott: All right. Great. Well, this is what we have to work with. I would like you to meet Andrew Bernard. The 'nard dog. Who let the 'nard dog out?
Andy: Hoo, hoo, hoo-hoo.
Michael Scott: He gives the best back rubs in the office.
Andy: That's true. I give a mean back rub. I also do good aromatherapy. [blows raspberry] Not! You just got 'nard dogged!

Michael Scott: That's what national came up with? That sucks! Wow.
Ad man: That's what we came up with.
Michael Scott: Well, we can do better than that.
Koh: Well, the main part of the ad has to stay the same, actually.
Ad man: Yeah, it's the last five seconds where we've some leeway.
Michael Scott: The waving?
Ad man: Well, no, no. You won't be waving. That was just what they did. You guys can be clapping, sitting. Standing outside, inside, whatever. I mean, this is where you really get to be creative.