Pete: Why haven't you seen "Die Hard"?
Erin: I don't know, I just haven't.
Kevin: Come on, you had to have at least seen some of it.
Erin: No.
Kevin: "Now, i have a machine gun. Ho, ho, ho."
Pete: "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs."
Erin: None of this makes any sense to me!
Kevin: Oh, yeah, and when he takes the gun off his back, and he's like, "Yippie-Ki-Yay, mother--"
Pete: Actually, he doesn't say that there. He says it earlier when he's on the radio with Hans.
Kevin: Yes, you are right. Forgive me.
Pete: Oh, that's okay, bud.
Kevin: Nope. [leaves]
Pete: Common mistake.
Kevin: No, it's not.

Erin: Nerd! Do you know every line of the movie?
Pete: My brother dared me to memorize it, and I did it, and loved doing it.
Erin: Okay, let's hear it.
Pete: Hear what?
Erin: Die Hard. Every line. Go.
Pete: "You don't like flying, do you?"
Erin: Don't change the subject.
Pete: No, that's the-
Erin: Movie is starting.

Darryl: Ah-ha-ha! Philly! Exciting stuff, man.
Jim: Whoo!
Darryl: So you sure you remembered everything for your trip?
Jim: Yeah, I think so.
Darryl: Think that through for a sec.
[aside to camera:]
Darryl: Yeah, Jim's going to Philly tomorrow. He said he was gonna take me with him, but that was two months ago. And I haven't heard anything since. I mean, he said that, right?

Jim: I don't know. Is it what you expected?
Pam: I feel like... Dwight is holding a candle and reading a poem.
Jim: So happy right now!

Dwight K. Schrute: [speaking German] Wait, what is that I hear? Is someone on the roof? How strange. [blows out the candle] Excuse me. I have to run to my car to take a dump.
Kevin: I wish my car had a bathroom.

Pete: "Let Heinrich plant the detonators and Theo prepare the vault. After that--"
Erin: [looking at a transcript online] Eh. That wasn't the line. I'm sorry, Pete.
Pete: That is transcribed by some fan. They make mistakes.
Erin: I don't know. This looks pretty legit.

Erin: Oh, my gosh. I just got an email from Andy. That means they hit land.
[aside to camera:]
Erin: "What up, shorty? We got in last night, sold the boat, went out, got drunk, saw life of pi, got super depressed and introspective. Gonna hang out here a while. Maybe a couple of weeks. Figure this whole life thing out. Maybe see Hobbit. Lates."

Pete: Hey. Everything okay?
Erin: So what comes next?
Pete: Right, um, okay. So he says, uh, [Pete stands up] "After we call the police, they'll waste hours trying to negotiate--"
Erin: We should just watch the movie. That makes much more sense.
Pete: Or we can just sit and talk, though.
Erin: No. No more talking. It's movie time.
Pete: I mean, are you sure... Um... Yeah, I probably have a copy or two in my car.
Erin: Oh, great. Great! So we're watching "Die Hard", now. Good! This is a good plan.
Pete: Okay.

Toby: [to Nellie] Here's the thing about moonlight. It's not sunlight.

Kevin: I love this hog mama.
Phyllis: Dwight said it's "Hog maw."
Kevin: [spits it out] What is maw?!
Phyllis: It's the lining of the stomach of-